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my creative writing teacher really likes this

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736 Posts / 39M
     :   19yrs   :  
MugenNoKarayami

my creative writing teacher really likes this [+ favourites]

of course, this is only a draft but its getting there...

Painting the Walls

I can't stop these random thoughts of hatred
i don't even think this man was the cause of my action(s)

his sudden lack of vocabulary triggered berserk laughter
i'm tearing through his flesh like a hot knife through butter (too cliche)

his high screams seem so soothing, slowly releasing my anger

It's a massacre

I should feel ashamed for making sucha a mess
These new white walls with new coats

All the blood dripping down
the only thing i can do is smile maniacally

the adrenaline rush feels soo good
my hands start to shake

The chill sets in...an emptiness shrouds me
My little play time is up for today

I think we had good bonding time
Wonder who my new friend will be tomorrow


please leave me some feed back and i would greatly appreciate helping me come up with a better metaphor that "hot knife through butter" lol this was an on the spot free verse soo ya gotta work with me here




"I'm a human being, God Dammit!! My life has value!!!"

736 Posts / 39M
     :   19yrs   :  
MugenNoKarayami

And...


Almost Done


Sitting alone in my room
There's a knife on my nightstand

Thinking about ending all my pain
One clean swipe [is all i need]

I may not be able to breathe for a few seconds
But you could say tha's my initiation

To get into a greater place
A Place where you're surrounded by unconditional love

No one would hear the last gargled words
Gushing from my mouth

I'm sorry everyone, For being such a burden

The serrated knife that could end my life
Seems so far away

I don't know what i should do
My mind overgflowing with all these thoughts

But there's a noise from downstairs
I think is is my little brother getting home from school

I wouldn't want him to be the discoverer of my worthless corpse
I guess i can wait 'til another time...


"I'm a human being, God Dammit!! My life has value!!!"

my creative writing teacher really likes this
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