if we had no peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. - Mother Teresa
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seeking advice on heartbreak

User Thread
 19yrs • M •
xbrandnew*emx is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
seeking advice on heartbreak
i need people that have the same situation as me so i joined this. my life has never been perfect and it always gets worse. the past year or so i have been going out with some new friends, this guy told me he loved me a few months back but i thought he couldnt be cause he has only known me about 2months. everyday after that it got worse and worse, my mind got smothered with pressure and i couldnt understand why me. recently he has told me he is very depressed and 2steps away from being a manic depressent. im so scared that anything i say or do to him will cause him to do himself harm. this also puts pressure on me and i want to hurt myself i cant deal wit the pressure and the thought that i put someone i love into a serious depression state. i want somebody who would take this off my mind but i cant move on because it would hurt him. can somebody tell me what i should do to help him and myself?

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"accept that ;ife is often unkind, unfair and cruel,but refuse to allow that reality to make you bitter"
 37yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
offer to go with him as a friend to get some help. as far as your relationship, just talk to him and be honest. you cant control the things he does, if he gets hurt you cant beat yourself up about it, it happens.

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 19yrs • M •
xbrandnew*emx is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
ok, im always honest wit him but im scared that i will make him more depressed with what i say, ino i cant blame myself but im so invovled with him, i am there for him.
thankyou for your advice it is needed.xx

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"accept that ;ife is often unkind, unfair and cruel,but refuse to allow that reality to make you bitter"
 43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that xanadoool is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Firstly, you can't depress people. Depression is cause by the person who experiences it. I have had chronic depression for about 5 years, but I'm able to function normally because I don't allow my mental state to affect me. I spend hours each week in meditation and intraspectionary thought. Something that takes a while to learn, but is MOST definately worth it.

You and this chap are both quite young, and are not yet equipped to deal with your own psychological conditions. So as a professional, I say, seek professional help. You can sort out any problem you are faced with on your own once you have matured a wee bit more. But the one thing you will never be able to do, is fix other people's mental states.

If he goes off the deep end when you do... whatever it is that you think will send him over the edge. Just remember, he was heading that way already, and perhaps being in the throws of severe depression is what he needs to wake himself up to the fact that HE is responsible for where he is.

Like I said, you can't do this on your own, perhaps tell your parents, maybe even HIS parents what you see happening to him, because young people NEVER think to tell their parents about the things that they could REALLY use help with.

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"Always give to the left, coz the right way is the wrong way."
 19yrs • M •
xbrandnew*emx is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
right ok. i hope u get throught it ok and by the sounds of things its going well. he is getting help, ino i cant fully help but i think i can be there for him. ok il remember that its not my fault and hopefully he can see that its his responsibity. im not sure if his parents know, but i will talk to his mum if he wont.
thankyou for your help its made me realise a few things.take carexx

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"accept that ;ife is often unkind, unfair and cruel,but refuse to allow that reality to make you bitter"
seeking advice on heartbreak
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