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When will the pain of heartache go away?

User Thread
 35yrs • F •
sweetstuff2921 is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
When will the pain of heartache go away?
My husband left me a few weeeks ago, and realizes he doesn't love me anymore. He left while i was at work took all his stuff and left a note. I tried to go home to my family and he's telling me to stay and lets see if things can work out. I'm not hearing the things i need to hear nor anything that would lead me to believe he's coming back. The doctor's got me dopped up on so much meds, don't they know all the meds in the world can't heal a broken heart. When will the pain go away?

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 36yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
it will never go away, but you will learn to deal with it in your own way.

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 37yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that rancidkitty26 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
when someone you love hurts you like that people tend to say time heals all wounds and things of that the nature....the truth is that it's always going to hurt, you will never just forget about it, but time does tend to ease the pain, it usually becomes less and less as days and weeks go by.....the longer you've been together thr longer it may take....im sorry for your pain but almost everyone gets their heart broken, and we survive it.....you just have to except it and move on with your life

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"we are the music makers, and we, are the dreamers of dreams"
 37yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Fairy Boy is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Stop take a logical look at what you are doing you know that eventually you will carry on with your life and over time look back at this situation and think that was fucked up..........now knowing this why wait why not wake up tomorrow like yesterday was 3 years ago....

There will always be something of him inside of you broken hearts always leave scars
Ironically when your heart gets damaged the scars never heal(medically speaking)

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""Veritatem quaere et insaniam inveni""
 35yrs • F •
sweetstuff2921 is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Last night he flat out told me it's over and he wants a divorce, it killed me inside. I really felt like i was going to die right then and there. It's amazing how much pain we can take without actually dropping dead. Isn't it?

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 33yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that hazeleyes is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
i might not have been inthe same exact place. but last year i was in love and it was mutual. we were ingaged and planing the wedding. then something happen that change every thing my mother forbid me from seeing him. since i was 17 years old i had to listen. on august 30 it will be ayear since she said those sad words to me and i am still not over him. i used to cry every nite and i still cry now

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"shit happens"
 33yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that hazeleyes is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
i felt so empty and lose when it happened. like i wasn't suposse to be happy

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"shit happens"
 64yrs • F •
Found is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Choose to lessen your healing process by attending therapy, support groups, reading material and getting off the meds Meds only prolong the healing process allowing you not to discover your true inner self - the self that makes you whole and strong. Books Love is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald Jampolsky, Nathaniel Branden's. Honoring the Self; also Wayne Dyer & David Viscott

Comes the Dawn
Song: Serenity Song ~ Geri Karlstorm a must!

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"Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
 25yrs • F •
the_klutz is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
i understand even at this age... its so sad!! this "heartache" just started last week and its sstill here!!

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"It doesnt matter if you fall.. it matters that you are able to get up or not"
 71yrs • F •
Carolynexpress is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
One day a young woman was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that she had the most beautiful heart in the whole canyon . A large crowd gathered and they all admired her heart because it was perfect . There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young woman was very proud and boasted more loudly about her beautiful heart. Then, an old woman appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young woman looked at the old woman's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars , it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces were put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. The people thought ... how can she say her heart is more beautiful? The young woman looked at the old woman's heart and saw it's state and laughed, "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mass of scars and tears." "Yes," said the old woman , "yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love, I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but sometimes the pieces aren't exact and it leaves rough edges which I cherish because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me . These are the empty gouges . My heart is not perfectly smooth like your young heart but mine is full of loves and losses and I would not trade it for anyone else. Like a precious tattered teddy bear.. your heart gets tattered and torn though life but in the end that is what makes it more valuable and precious..

I find that real heartache never goes away if you truly love the person. But what is much much worse is if they die. .I was utterly amazed that my heart could hurt so badly and I still lived.. it was 30 years ago and it still hurts..and still makes me cry..

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[  Edited by Carolynexpress at   ]
 71yrs • F •
Carolynexpress is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Thank you for your opinion Decius. It sounds quite clinical.
I like the story, I don't see it at all as being counter productive and I like fantasy also; which is my option. I like to think the world is beautiful and people are good.. Sure I run into people who confirm that this is not the case..However.. I am not responsible for what they do.. Only what I do.
Maybe there is no solution to heartache but to endure . Each situation is individual , as individual each person themselves are. The fact is that you took the time to read the story; that is good enough for me.

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 71yrs • F •
Carolynexpress is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Actually I do find simplicity to be happiness and complexity not so much happy. I do deal with reality when I have to . Also who are you to say or know what realities I have braved . If I prefer fantasy to reality is it not my choice as a individual to do so. Maybe the reality i have suffered makes it necessary for me to escape to a world of my making . To isolate myself from society ; to protect myself from reality. You have no idea who you are talking to or anything about my life or how I choose to live it. Heart ache only comes from loving. If you have been so unfortunate not to suffer heart ache it tells me you have never truly loved and lost anyone in any way. I truly have no problem letting go of the ones I love and wish them only the best, for that is what love is. However to lose one to death is a whole other ball game. You grieve the lost potential of their lives. 30 years ago in April my beloved friend died in an accident.. I would give anything if he were an old man with a family living anywhere in the world.. Just to know that he were living. Yes that heart ache has never and will never end and that is not a choice I can make.. it just is how it is.
Cynical < I should be more cynical than i am idealistic < i hope I am :whatever...call it illusion.. call it what you want. I call it fantasy. I live in the wild woods with the animals, the many birds and the deer, the raccoon and fox and all the other little creatures; I have created my little fantasy world . I give to you all the reality you wish.. I have had more than my share. I choose fantasy and I find many people ,both male and female who envy my little fantasy world and my life.

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 71yrs • F •
Carolynexpress is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Yes we agree that it is a temporary state in which to live. It has served me well for the past 5 years and maybe I retreated to fantasy when I discovered, much to my horror that my life , my reality for 31 years had been an illusion... shattering reality. Thus fantasy has helped me heal and find myself and to calm the ravens of my unrestful thoughts.. I venture out into society much more in past year than the first four..I have been forced to as when you are "perceived" as being a strong person it is not perceived that you weary of being the strong one, so you find strenght even when you think there is none left to find.. The fantasy world had helped me heal. I am even stronger and grow stronger as each wonderful day passes..
I do agree that it is a crutch..but sometimes we just need a crutch.. anyway Decius I am curious as to why you chose that name? Do you related to Decius? Is that your fantasy?

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein



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 71yrs • F •
Carolynexpress is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
"Closing ones eyes when it get scary."
I can certainly relate to that.. when I became over stressed due to a series of crisis stacked one upon the other ; another and yet another . Even coping with small things in life became extreme. such as: "where did i park the car?" . The mere thought of violence of any kind or even seeing a word that is related to violence put me in near panic. It is the mind trying to protect itself . So sometimes it becomes necessary to close your eyes ;for a while at least.
They waken to a new clairvoyance when the ravens once again have perched upon the branches of the soul.
Life is wonderful and beautiful , you can only know the light after you go through the darkness.. and you can only be strong for so long without respite.

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.
Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929

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 71yrs • F •
Carolynexpress is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Without the darknessof the sky nightly..
Stars nor the moon would shine so brightly..

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When will the pain of heartache go away?
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