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I lost the love of my life, how can I get her back

User Thread
 35yrs • M •
LostLove is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I lost the love of my life, how can I get her back
I am a 18 year old college student. During high school I dated this girl for 3 years. When we started to date she told me she wanted to wait to have sex until she was married, so I respected her wishes and we feel in love. Everyone who knew us, knew we were made for each other. She was my best friend and the person I loved most in life. Well Senior year came and ended, and it was time for me to go off to college. She was staying in my home town until Janurary when she will attend college. We decicied that it would be best if we broke up when I went off to school. At first it seemed like an ok idea. But I got to college and realized how much I love her. She makes my day count, and makes me happy to be alive. Well we talked everyday on the phone, but she meet someone new. Someone I have known by face since middle school. So I told her to go with her heart, and that I wanted her to be happy, even if it made me the saddest person alive. They have been talking now for nearly 2 months. I know she has strong feelings for him. I came home for halloween break, and we spent the whole weekend in each others company. I cried her arms, and told her how i have been feeling, but all she could say is that it is not the right time right now. She told me she stills loves me as much as she did before, if not even more because i have been so patient with love. She also told me that she does like him, but he doesn't mean anything to her, just someone to pass time with. But it breaks my heart to think of them happy together. So now i am back in college, and i have been trying to meet someone to fill her gap, but i know i am only lying to myself. I feel like crying when i think about how much i love her. I know i am to young to know what love is, but i do. I know i love her and i would do anything to have her back in my life. I am going to see her on the 25th of Nov. if you have any advice for me please give it. I don't know what else to do. Wishes don't work anymore, neither does praying. Help

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"\"it\'s to have been loved, then to never have loved at all.\""
 37yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that iSOUGHT|THOUGHT is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
be nonchalant...

my g/f and i have been together for 6 months.

at this point i have the understanding that she "loved me more than anyone else" from the first day...

until recently she inconsistently would want to be with me and want to be without me... she told me she was scared about being hurt... she loved me too much, and that made her too vulnerable (fuck that mentality)

anyways, having said that... the whole time i was impartial to it all.

i didn't pursue her per say, but i didn't let her out of my grasps.

like i said earlier, be nonchalant... play it cool.

if there was something worthwhile there, it's still going to be there.

along with that, if something isn't growing- it's stagnating...

you're gonna have to feel this one out buddy...


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"as i see it the only "variable" in the equation is THOUGHT. you are capable of changing this and this alone."
 36yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Astarte is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Love pains quite a bit, somehow I haven't really (*fingers crossed it'll change*) found anyone who proved my adhering to the quote, "The person you love, and the one who loves you, will never be the same", wrong yet.

You're not alone in this one, I just realized for five years I had been loving someone dear to me from afar and thought that never telling him would be best - he's going to be getting married to his long-term girlfriend, soon. But I just broke down one night and the day after I let him know. And it relieved me, although it hurts to know that I can't be the girl he's with now - it just puts me at peace that he is doing well everyday. All I care about is that his aspirations, his health, his needs are met and it'll upset me greatly if anyone hinders that.

But I moved on, I realized one thing - there is no such thing as one love. You can come to love again and still look back from time to time making sure the others you truly loved are doing well. I can't spend my life in sorrow over the fact that he can't return the sort of attraction I have to him, as much as he said he wanted to after I told him.

It'll take time to realize that hun, but you'll see that even when you're still hurting, you'll bump into someone new - and then you'll think, if I never left my other girl, I wouldn't have someone so amazing.

Just express your pain and frustration - paint, write poetry, talk to people, vent it. Don't let it bottle up and become a demon.

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"Milk, almonds and pistachios."
 32yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Dj BrEaK AwAy is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
listen do all you can to see her and hang out with her

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"live long live free"
 35yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that JoelB is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.

Sigh....it seems me and you, are in the same boat my friend. I recently lost the love of my life as well, to a "friend" of mine. Although you may be in pain, I think I have felt pain beyond words, pain that can NEVER be described. Some of you may already know, but for lostlove, my girlfriend cheated on me. We made a mens, or so i thought, and last night, i see her holding hands with a DIFFERENT guy. Broken heart. All over again. I've realized, that there isn't really anything you can do, as bad it as sucks, as bad as it hurts to think about her being with another guy, there is nothing you can do. If she has made up her mind, to the point were you spill your guts to her on how much you love her, and she still doesn't want to be with you....you need to leave her be. Let her decide. I know, that this is NOT an easy thing. Trust me, I'm going through it right now. Of course now, my love for her, is turning into hatred, "how could I of EVER loved a girl like that", "how could she do this to me", "SHES SUCH A FUCKING SLUT" (sorry, but its the truth). Anger is taking over, and Im letting it. I've pushed anger away one to many times for this girl, and now its all coming out, she hit the trigger. Though Im getting offtopic, sorry. Back to what you can do....there isn't much my friend, you need to let time decide, it is the hardest thing in the world to do, I know. I rarely am able to sleep, eat, or even feel normal. When I go out with my friends, I dont even have fun anymore, because all I think about is her. What you need to do, is tell her how you feel, which it seems like you already have, and leave it at that. She knows how you feel, when she is ready, she will come back to you. It hurts, so bad, I know it does. But its the only thing you can do. And while you are at it, you HAVE to try and move on, put away things that remind you of her, I've found that pondering it only makes it hurt worse. Im am very sorry to hear of your loss, as I know the pain you are feeling, and I would never wish that upon ANYBODY. Good luck man, and keep your head up. Im right there with you.

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"Aint flashed a smile in a long while...."
 35yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that JoelB is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
wow that was in november, i didnt even look. now i feel stupid. lol

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"Aint flashed a smile in a long while...."
 31yrs • F •
aahnaagrwal is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
You just do nothing more to get her back. Go and talk to her and also try to remove all the misunderstanding between you and her. This is quite helpful for you to get her back in your life.

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 34yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Theory is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
First of all love is a chemical reaction in your brain. The feeling of love often confusing as it triggers many emotions at once.

Your love is in fact just infatuation.

If you look at love from a primitive point of view. Men are generally compelled to be the safe guarder (or protector)
Your feelings grew stronger the further away or less contact you had with said girl.

What you feel is natural including the jealousy you feel toward the other male.

My advice forget her move on the world full of women... travel about meet new people. rather than visiting her again for a bit.
Once your mind finds another female distraction the old feelings will be a distant memory.

Elevate your soul.

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"We breathe natures breath until we are tired and layed to rest..."
 40yrs • M
Egregious is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.

She is gone. It is painful, and I am sorry for you, but you will very probably never get her back, nor will it be the same if you do. As all evidence shows, your feelings are stronger for her than hers are for you.

Mitigate the pain in healthy ways until the pain is gone. Also, you must completely cut contact with her until that pain is gone.

I know you don't want to do this (and probably won't do this), and I know it hurts, but this is the truth.

Good luck, brother.

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I lost the love of my life, how can I get her back
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