Heartbreak and Suicide

Heartbreak and Suicide [+ favourites]

I know about a month ago I posted a plea for advice. I got great advice, now it seems that I need more. I read on my ex- girlfriend/friend...ah fuck, i don't know what the hell we are anymore, that she went up to omaha to help someone with a problem. She meet someone up there that she thought was sweet and such. I Immediately began to feel that heartache in my chest. Why cant this girl be with me? I love her(though i'm too chicken to tell her such), I want to be with her night and day. and she wants or feels no need towards me(well, I don't actually know her position on this, but i want to hope for the best). Now here 1:21 CST in the morning I'm contemplating suicide, wanting to hurt myself. I want to know if she loves me. If she cares for me, if we could get back togeather. I did the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't do however when she took my virginity. She made it special for me, but at the same moment, I realized that I gave my heart to her. I hurt soo much inside...now i'm hoping to await her call back...i just don't know if i can handle things anymore...i'm crying, i'm hurting...i want to be with someone, to stop this loneliness, to love someone, her, forever....please, help me, tell me what a fool I am...I know there is no justice in killing myself over a girl or a love, but it hurts so very much...and every time i see her these feelings will be the same...i just don't know about things any more... I wish people would, no could see how much I hurt. I want her to see how much she hurts me, how much i love her. I just need help right now...someone to help me, to be my friend. i don't want to be alone...

"Everyone leaves. In the End. Everything Dies. In the End. It doesn't matter how hard you hold on. "Mortiis-Everyone Leaves""

NO. Don't even think about it!! EVER!!! No girl is worth giving up your life. You are such a smart person with a beautiful heart. You have so much to offer. I know how much you love her. You have given her something so personal, and I can totally understand how you must feel betrayed and hurt. We have all felt the pain. (shoot....I have felt the pain on more than one occasion for sure)

I am thinking that you are hurting because you have many questions you NEED answered. When I tend to ponder a situation I begin to make up possible answers, wheather they be good or bad. After awhile I start placing those answers in order of what I think the answer might be. THEN I start believeing of what I THINK the answer is without actually knowing for sure. Do you understand what I am saying?

First off you love her. You are to shy to tell her. Might it help to tell her? You are not sure if she wants or needs you. Might you ask? You are assuming she dosen't. Maybe she does. Maybe she is saying she is meeting someone to make you jealous? (us girls do these things sometimes.....or let's say us sneaky ones) She dosen't actually know you LOVE her you say..... maybe she is kinda playing hard to get to actually drive you crazy?? (I do it...and have done it)

I am that other girl. I am going through something soooo similar with someone of whom I love so much. I am going to write about my situation on the advice page, maybe today or tomorrow. You will find similairities (sp. error) in our stories.

I am soooooo hoping you are feeling better today. This might sound stupid, but some immediate advice is to take a deep breath. In your nose DEEP and slowly out your mouth. It has always worked for me. It helps with the pain. Truely it does.

Also..... as the old saying goes...."There are other fish in the sea". It is TRUE. If she is not the one.... believe me, someone BETTER will come around.

Until then..... keep your head held HIGH, and don't even THINK about doing something stupid. EVER. Face your pain/fears. Look them straight in the eye, and know that it will pass. That you WILL get through it. Because you TOTALLY will.

I'm gona leave you my e-mail addy incase you ever need to talk. (Not that my advice is worth a crap, lol)
Evillia@aol.com (two l's) I work on the computer so I am pretty much on alot.

((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))

Evilia

"Spellcheck is for pussies. REAL women make mistakes."

Evilia's current quote is very appropriate for this type of situation. not that it is over or anything, but you should be happy that you know her and are close to her, not upset that she is straying from you.

"UNIX is an operating system, OS/2 is half an operating system, Windows is a shell, and DOS is a boot partition virus. ~Peter H. Coffin"

Check your ass in Silhouetted!!!!

I bet you both kissed and made up right????

"Spellcheck is for pussies. REAL women make mistakes."

well you now the sitch evilla, as for everyone else...
I did tell her that I loved her, and yes she knows and will keep that forever in her heart...However, things just didn't work out. As she put it, "the stars were aligned against us or something" The pain will be there for a while...I'll eventually get over her...we will still be friends, so I'm happy...talked to my mom too...she says that I'll find someone, and that there are other fish in the sea...then she tells me that she dated 10 guys before she meet my dad...Then we both laughed at how they no longer fight b/c the childred have moved out of the house...I feel alot better now...Thanks too all and my mom...Thats a True Love that will never die...yeah, i'll cry, i'll get angry, depressed, but always a silver lining to a cloud...
*group hug* again...thanks for being there...and sorry for not getting back sooner evilla

"Everyone leaves. In the End. Everything Dies. In the End. It doesn't matter how hard you hold on. "Mortiis-Everyone Leaves""

REMEMBER your emotions and this experience.
Someday you will be called on from someone in a similar situation, in which you are experienced.
Glad you sorted and resolved.
Peace.

"Even though is difficult, I can still dream."

i think no one should even go nutts over lil thing like that he/she wanna leave fuck it who cares there are more people out there who are a lot better then the person u were with it just makes me luagh when people cry about their b/f ot g/f they are like booo hooo she/he left me so fuck get a new one duhhhhhhhhhh

Its the fact that I had complete emotional devote-ment to this person. I love her. That'll never change. Its hard for me to just up and try to 'hit up' another g/f or anything like that. I'm the type that wants to be in a stable relationship...fuck all that dating and shit...give me something to be FINALLY stable in my life(besides all my great friends)...Yes there are more people out there, but i'm not a searching fool like some people. I want that person to come to me...no i'm not lazy, just too fuckin shy for my own good...Now, why don't you try to be more polite and stop adding your hate filled comments about serious issues that people are having....makes me wanna Rage....but I won't...cause i'm not gonna lower myself down to Your level. period.

"Everyone leaves. In the End. Everything Dies. In the End. It doesn't matter how hard you hold on. "Mortiis-Everyone Leaves""

You fell in love once, you will fall in love again. Think of it as an adventure.

"A fool says I know and a wise man says I wonder."

im sorry hun i know how that can be i fell in love gave up everything for him and all i ended up doin was being crushed yes i have done stupid stuff for love i have tried to commit suicide cuz pain just kills you but what i have learned is that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and think about it life is not about all the breaths we take but the memories we make and if you give up now you wont be able to make more memories and trust me fate has its own odd ways of turning around...just think about it if you need more help just mail me xxfantasygurlxxx@aol.com ill be here for ya whenever you need me!

"live life to your fullest because you never know when you\\\'ll be gone!"

ram im sure you heard the saying "if you dont have something nice to say dont say anything at all"

i mean you didnt HAVE to read this not to mention type that.. so a guy needed help.. i feel bad for him..

""That's only the tip of the iceberg.""

dude, kill yourself...

your pain is forever.

these "new-found" friends are only posponing your end.

If you wish to die, do it. Because love is as good as any reason to kill yourself.

"In this world, we are never lacking. Only losing what we have in hope of gaining what we dont."

[b] ekimup ignorance is also a reason to top yourself so hurry up and make room for more people like evilla and sil... people who have compassion and consideration...something we need more of in this society..

"Imagination is more important than knowledge"

Ha. im far from ignorant.

i have empathy, seen as how i've experienced this(and many much worse) than the scenario he has given.


unfortunately..or fortunately, im still living.


i wont say the grass is greener on the other side, because i "still" feel hopelessly drained from my previous and most recent losses.


the choice is up to you. But suicide looks awfully good compared to the shit your feeling now. Its just whether or not you feel like unjustly suffering to see the sun shine again..

"In this world, we are never lacking. Only losing what we have in hope of gaining what we dont."