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Main -> Social Awareness -> Emotion and Psychology  | NewPosts

Perfectionists

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51 Posts / 62M
     :   23yrs   :  
JetPlane

Perfectionists [+ favourites]

Could a fear of perfection push perfectionists away from relationships they see as being "too happy", "too complete", "too good"?


"\"Like maple syrup, Canada\' evil oozes.\"-<i>Canadian Bacon</i>"

1764 Posts / 62M
     :   56yrs   :  
cturtle

As I ponder this question, Monk plays on the T.V. in the other room. The image of his character forms an image of one obsessed with perfection, could Monk find something so perfect that he would not seek to change it?
Could be his worst nightmare.


"Terrorist or tyrant, few may come to the Truth that both are poor choice."

426 Posts / 68M
     :   38yrs   :  
Mountain Girl

Perfectionists

Could a fear of perfection push perfectionists away from relationships they see as being "too happy", "too complete", "too good"?

No!...not at all...at least not from my own experiences...

I have been dubbed by many as a "perfectionist"...and the only fear that I have...is something NOT being "good enough"...

In my marriage...we can never be "too happy"...the level of happiness that we share grows to new heights with each breath that we take...as we grow...as we mature...as we become more and more comfortable with our lives and ourselves...It is not a "perfect" marriage, but I do not fear the "near perfect" qualities...

I do not fear..."too complete"...how can a relationship be "too complete"?


"Just stepped back in to..."ruffle some feathers""

51 Posts / 62M
     :   23yrs   :  
JetPlane

My sister just recently ended a relationship because her and her lover went together "too completely". Blended as perfectly as sugar in hot tea, so that the result was apparent, but the original sugar was not seen.

She's been a perfectionist ever since she was very young, and she became unduly frightened that something had finally come along that she didn't really have to work on. They've known each other for so long as friends and finally as lovers, that after 8 years of being together, right before he asked her to marry him, she freaked out that in those 8 years, they had not had any real problems.

It's a thought of do perfectionists really want to find perfection? Are they perfectionists because they want to attain an unattainable goal?


"\"Like maple syrup, Canada\' evil oozes.\"-<i>Canadian Bacon</i>"

118 Posts / 85M
     :   30yrs   :  
think4yourself

Unfortunately I don't know enough about your sister to say much about her situation. I'll take a guess and say this is the first big relationship she's been in, and maybe she's nervous that it's her last. She wants to see other people to feed her curiosity first, and then she'll want to settle down. How old is she? Of course I could be waaay off.

As for perfectionism, from personal experience I find that when things are going great in one respect, there's always a thousand other areas I need to work on. There's too many things to do/learn and too little time. Although the chase is thrilling, I definitely would not substitute something great for something inferior just to keep it going.


51 Posts / 62M
     :   23yrs   :  
JetPlane

Her last relationship was 10 years long. The three she had before that were between 3 and 5 years.


"\"Like maple syrup, Canada\' evil oozes.\"-<i>Canadian Bacon</i>"

936 Posts / 44M
     :   20yrs   :  
Attolia

Too happy? That's not even possible for me. Even when I'm in a relaxing and "perfect" situation, knowing that it won't last forever doesn't make it "too happy," but I try to make the best of it.

Ah, perfectionism, who are you and what do you want? Oh great, I thought again! Now I won't get any sleeep tonight from pondering over this. I do this all the time. I'm starting to think that I should watch tv before I sleep and kill all thought. But thought resurfaces and I still can't sleep. But then my body tells my mind to shut up because it's too tired and needs to wake up early tomorrow to study for a test.


"How can we be just in a world without mercy and merciful in a world without justice?"

Perfectionists
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