Buff Man = Man - Not so buff man = Not a man at all

Sure, women have it bad. No argument there.

But I'm only just realizing how bad men have it.

Take me, for example. I'm a pretty "powerful" guy. What this equates, to me, is a man who is:

1) Intelligent
2) Humorous
3) Creative
4) Courageous

What I lack, to some extent, is confidence. However, in a perfect world the aforementioned characteristics would reflect a great deal of positivity towards myself, thereby creating the elusive fifth ideal: Confidence.

However, that has not happened. Well, it has in some small bursts. They were:

1) When I, for some reason, had a momentary lapse and became super confident

2) Was desired by people around me, firstly women and then men, primarily because my appearance and skills matched what was deemed attractive at that time.

3) When I unknowingly demonstrated that i had money, or someone else was under that false impression.

The above three situations did not necessarily entail that I was confident, but they were non-reproduce-able instances where people around me treated me as though I was confident.

So, obviously, along with most men and women on this fine planet, one of my goals, if not an equally important and parallel goal to breathing and eating, was to generate that sort of reaction in a reproduce-able manner so that I could reap the benefits of it.

I tried:

1) To buy a sports bike and ride it around town. I looked cool, but it wasn't enough. It seemed lots of other people had the same idea.

2) Buy drinks for women and get them drunk. This works, but is not an agreeable method of reproduction, and it does not really entail that I am a revered person - I have just made their analysis of me more malleable.

3) Get drunk myself. Again, this works, but is more of a one off joy - if you get drunk every weekend it becomes unpleasant (at least for me) so the reproduction benefits get offset by the personal negativity towards being drunk. Additionally, and obviously, you condition yourself to only feel confident while alcohol is available as you have prospered and received those reflections under the influence, not solo.

4) Be funny and honest (myself).

5) Be a massive prick.

6) Lie.

7) Surround myself with seemingly different people due to their group associations. However, everyone, in the end, is the same.

8) Occupy myself with my own independent passions, becoming indifferent of wanting that attention. Marginally works, but always picks at you.

9) Pursue making lots of money. This sort of works, but not entirely. You will get more attention, but it is still somewhat up to the environment to decide. Not 100% reproduceable, but if you are willing to be really spendy and obvious, you can try to create those reactions. My guess is that this will work better than all of the previous suggestions, but is not entirely under your control (Because you can't guarantee that you can become rich), and you can't guarantee that the people around you won't group up to alienate you as the rich guy.

There may be more. But let's cut to the only one that works for men:

Get Buff.

It's really quite interesting because at first thought you would think so many guys are ripped so it shouldn't make that much of a difference right?

Well, there's a right way and there's a wrong way.

A "roid monkey" is a guy who looks like his muscles have been inflated with air. He doesn't look "Attractive" but his muscles stick out. A lot of the time these guys don't seem to fit their body, but you can't argue that they are ripped. They have no real world strength or stamina. You can out run them, you can out do them in real world activities because their muscles were gained through extremely organized and limited movements in the gym. A large majority of guys do it this way because this is the way you get buff the quickest.

But you won't stick out in a group of buff guys.

That doesn't mean it won't work. It will work. When you walk around you will get looked at. You can put your picture up on a website or stand out in a crowd. You will always be able to find that one girl who wants to feel your abs.

But I'm talking about the real buff now. The kind you see in Tom Cruise, in Brad Pitt, in all the big actors that seem to have sort of a "natural" buff look that makes them look like men.

This is where your body, your actual skeleton has changed to accommodate your need to be a bigger, stronger, tougher man. Your muscles coat your body as your body needs it and you don't have big muscles that are alien to your natural posture and movements.

There is a subconscious effect this will have on the receiver. It makes the receiver look at this man as more of a man. More productive, more real, more strong, more powerful.

You will get most of these benefits from being a roid monkey too. But you will get it just a little bit more if you have a more natural look.

The interesting thing is, the difference in people's reactions to you as a buff man versus a scrawny man is tremendous. You can be goofy as a buff man, and you are taken to be a powerfully humorous man. As a scrawny man you are taken to be a desperate man who has nothing but humor.

If you are mad as a scrawny man, you are a lonely reject. If you are mad as a buff man, something wrong has happened and people better figure out how to fix it.

If you are attracted to a girl as a scrawny man, you are hoping to get your dick wet. As a buff man you're licking your lips waiting to pound that ass.

The list goes on and on. And though these are highly effective and accurate stereotypes, they have no relevance to the real essence of what it means to be a man.

To be a human.

An angry scrawny man is as powerful as a buff angry man. As much vigilance, as much rage, and as much power to inflict destruction to those around him.

A horny scrawny man is just as vigorous in bed, just as animalistic, just as young, just as virtuous.

A funny scrawny man is just as assertive, just as confident, just as valuable as a buff man.

But that is not the way the world works. And so, the scrawny man sees himself as being weak, and the buff man sees himself as strong.

Just as a loose woman somehow has power over one who only opens her legs for her desires, not others.

quote:

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The interesting thing is, the difference in people's reactions to you as a buff man versus a scrawny man is tremendous. You can be goofy as a buff man, and you are taken to be a powerfully humorous man. As a scrawny man you are taken to be a desperate man who has nothing but humor.

If you are mad as a scrawny man, you are a lonely reject. If you are mad as a buff man, something wrong has happened and people better figure out how to fix it.

If you are attracted to a girl as a scrawny man, you are hoping to get your dick wet. As a buff man you're licking your lips waiting to pound that ass.

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These are good insights. Everything you say here is true.

But, ultimately, a women will still attempt to dominate/humiliate the buff guy with petty emotional games...

The downside of being in really good shape is your sex drive is through the rough and your apt to become a slave to her emotional ups and downs because you're always looking to get laid and sex just becomes a weapon to her.... and of course, if you play the distant cold asshole type it might get you what you want ( she keeps her self-victimization pity games on the low ) BUT you have to forsake a proper honest connection.... so fucked either way.

quote:

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if you play the distant cold asshole type it might get you what you want ( she keeps her self-victimization pity games on the low )

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Maintaining this is such a pain in the ass, and though it seems attractive initially (just have sex and keep yourself distanced) over time the opportunity cost of all that dishonesty overrides any perceived physical benefits.

Case in point, when I did this, actually did this, with a chick who was basically like a model, it worked - she wanted me to fuck her. But I couldn't get it up. My subconscious said "no" while at the exact same time I was able to have sex with someone I trusted (hence it was not a physiological thing).

What I learned from that experience was that no matter how good looking a girl is, if she is not someone you feel comfortable with, you will derive almost nothing from it.

I think it's largely bullshit isn't it?

It's just societal. We both know that society's view is completely insane.

I know some disgusting human beings who are well respected and admired simply because they take care of their bodies, and I know a lot of very upstanding, outstanding individuals who don't get the time of day because they are not so focused physically.

I imagine it takes an almost superhuman level of confidence and self-assuredness to fall in the latter category and survive as a healthy human being in today's society, since it doesn't take long for the penny to drop on how much better people and society treats the former.

Yet another reason I withdraw. I find I can't cope with the constant bombardment of shame and guilt I receive from not being a gym rat.

However, it's still better than the total loss of self-respect I would feel if I gave in to society's demands and found myself in a gym drinking protein shakes.