Thanks for the compliment, BUT....Help from a stranger.

Thanks for the compliment, BUT....Help from a stranger. [+ favourites]

Does anybody else out there ever feel that no matter how hard you try and how much of your day you spend taking care of others and running yourself ragged to make sure that your kids and your husband are happy it is never quite good enough. Is there anybody else out there that recieves the smallest "almost" complement, you know what I mean, the ones where your spouse tells you how good something is followed by the BUT... Let me explain something to all of you people in the world who can never be fully satisfied with anything no matter how hard someone tries to please you. If you think that you are giving someone a compliment and it is followed ny the word BUT, it is not a compliment. If you could have done it better maybe, just maybe you should have taken the innitiative to do it yourself, or at least lend a hand once in a while.
Why is it that I am always here for everyone, friends, family, strangers and whoever else crosses my path to listen to whatever garbage they need to get off of their chest but when I need to vent I need to find strangers on the internet to talk to. Maybe I will get a little respect from cyber strangers. Somebody help, PLEASE.

"Who loves ya? Me, Myself & I"

appreciation is a funny thing, most people don't appreciate something or someone until they are gone. People like to talk and not listen. If your married, I'm guessing there is a large communication gap between yourself and your husband. Perhaps he is one of those who likes to talk but not listen.. I don't know if you hold your true feelings in, but if you do, people generally not take the time to hear you out, even when you want to talk. The fact though, that you listen, tells me you are a good person with a strong heart, perhaps you need to find subtle ways to show you want to talk, or maybe you should work towards correcting the communication gap between yourself and those who surround you. I too am a listener, I too grow intolerant with people who talk, but refuse to listen, so to them, I get my point across, and leave the ball in there court. I hope this is somewhat useful to you. Gabe

"I never let the negativity of life, dull the beauty in my life."

Maybe the people around you don't think you need to vent. If you've never done it before with them, they may not expect it. You set a certain impression of being able to take care of yourself.

Test the people around you. See if they are capable of receiving your frustration. Maybe you're not turning to them because you think they're weak listeners.

Try telling your husband directly and exactly what you want. Don't say, "I want you to appreciate me." Be specific. Say, "The next time you compliment me, can you not add a criticism? After I work hard to produce, it's bothers me to be criticized."" And keep reinforcing what you told him with reminders. I agree with Gabe that you and your husband may have communication issues.

"How can we be just in a world without mercy and merciful in a world without justice?"

Men have trouble complimenting. Honestly, I never do it unless I'm trying to get around the bases. I do not like receiving compliments because they make me feel a little uncomfortable. I never apologize because if I apologize I feel like a pussy. Maybe this is how your husband feels.

Honestly I think you should go see a therapist maybe once a week or something. In my opinion there is something wrong with your psyc. The need for a compliment means I have done something for you, now you must do something for me. This is normal however what they must do for you is not. You need someone to help you feel better about yourself.

"I love to see people struggling for their purpose in life..."