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No worries, I don't mind telling how I came to be such. I was raised mostly by my mother, who was Baptist and took me to church every Sunday. I believed and followed, as I was raised. Around the age of 10, I had just moved to a redneck town called Tallapoosa, I made this weird connection. You know how when you find a penny on heads, it's a good luck penny? I did that. And I had this penny, and it was my good luck penny. When I was stuck in a hard situation, I'd think "I have my lucky penny on me. Lucky penny, please, help me out. Get me out of this situation." or if I needed an A on a test or wanted a teacher to give me an extra day on an assignment - "My lucky penny is with me, I'm sure I'll do well, it'll help me out." And if it didn't, then I'd think 'this isn't meant to be, then'. Then, one day at church, I was on my knees, up at some rug thing and I was praying. I told god I was sorry all the 'bad' stuff I did. I didn't think it was bad, but my mom made me to believe it was. Which later to find out, there was nothing bad about it. (You can probably guess, as a ten year old boy, I discovered masturbation and my mindset changed a bit, I began thinking 'dirty' thoughts. And also at this point in my life, I discovered my attraction to males, which was also heavily frowned down upon by my mother.) So then, I asked him two things: Don't let my mom be drunk when I get home and let me do well in my next baseball game and have my dad be proud. Then, I made the connection! I had as much faith in god as I had in a penny I found on the ground. So, after this realization, I began exploring new religions. I started with Paganism and Wicca, went to Buddhism, onto Islam and then into Confucianism and Taoism. I studied long and hard. Wicca interested me muchly due to it's connection with nature. Buddhism actually seemed like the thing for me, for a while. But then another realization came upon me... I entered high school and this is when I began to understand the idea of a clique, culture, group, whatever you want to call it. I had never belonged in a group, but when you hit high school, you see it clear as day. I looked around. I saw that to be in this group, you had to do this. To be in that group, you had to do that. And while some held similarities, if you didn't what you had to to be in the group, you weren't in that group. So, for a few antagonizing weeks, I looked at myself and asked "What am I?" - you know, self discovery and all that. I came to realize that I was my own person - I'd never had any bias toward any group and ended up just being my own self. I looked at what I did, what music I listened to, what I wore and why I did all of that. And I found out, I didn't belong in any of those groups. But, through my personal preferences and logic, I'd made my own group consisting of me. Through my life, I had always done my own thing and I ended up like that. But when I delved further into the topic and looked inside of people's groups, I saw that, with no influence from any groups, I had a little common ground with each of them - some more, some less. Then, the big picture of religion hit me. Buddhist were a group. Christians were a group. Pagans were a group. And while some of them held similarities, you had to do and believe a certain thing to be in that group. By this time, I knew about Atheism, I knew about Agnosticism, Ignosticism and Theism. And I knew most of the details within each category. So I told myself to go blank. Go blank and make your religion, just like you did your group. I did. God, to me, was no more than a penny I found on the ground. I looked at life. I clearly saw he/she had no take of the earth's workings. My high doubt in god lead to studying. I began reading books by Richard Dawkins. This reinforced my belief of no god. And after much mental anguish, discussions with my mother and reasoning...I proudly declared myself an Atheist (to myself, of course. ) and for the first time in my life, I was sure of something, or the lack of something. And I realized at the end of the day, just like with the high school groups, I still had similarities, some more than others, with every religion. I still have that penny. It's taped to the collar of my jacket. I still do my own thing, religiously. I think about right and wrong. I still think about god, though most of that thought is to his nonexistence. And, while I know that it has no affect on the world, I still ask my penny to help me and my family, so I do pray, though falsely. I know it doesn't do anything, but it certainly is a pick me up when it works. And that story, with much fluff, was my adventure into Atheism. Sorry for the super long post, I won't mind if you toss out a TL;DR at me. I hope that satisfied your curiosity.
"Inspire."
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