parenting issue

parenting issue [+ favourites]

the father of my 14 month old daughter is is jail right now for stabbing me. he is being charged with second degree attempted murder and can get 20 years to life. he wants to see jeweliana, but bringing her to jail seems like a bad idea, but he's always been good to her for the 8 months of her life that he was there. do u think i should bring her to visit her father and if i did would that make me a bad person?

The question you should ask yourself is not whether your daughter should see her father in jail or not. It is, what kind of a mother are you to have a child with a man who could stab his wife?

I realize this sounds harsh coming from a third person, and even sounds like it is trying to place guilt and blame upon you.

But this is a question your own mind has to ask. Who are you to put a young child in a situation where her mother is stabbed by her father?

Try to post your response and please try to keep in mind that I am on your side, 100%. I am not trying to hurt or insult you - it seems you are concerned about the well being of your daughter, and sometimes asking yourself very difficult and painful questions can help get to an answer.

Sometimes, we come to external places because we don't have the strength to ask ourselves these questions and need someone else to do it for us.

well, to be honest with you he wasn't always like that at all, but for some reason 10 months into our relationship when i was already pregnant, he started to be abusive, i stuck around thinking he would change, but then i left him and he came after me and stabbed me. i really don't think i'm a bad mother for that. i wanted this relationship to work, but he changed drastically without an explanation.

Hi there,

No one is saying you are a bad mother. The question is, what kind of a mother brings a child into the world under this circumstance?

Did the father have a mental breakdown which caused such a sudden shift in behaviour? Does he have a social or psychotic disorder?

Why would he so suddenly change?

well he was adopted at the age of 2, but his biological mother did crack the whole time she was pregnant with him. i don't know if that could have something to do with it. and i'm pretty sure he got into some heavy drugs, but he never told me about it, but he started acting pretty different and trying to kill himself because he hated himself for the things he did to me.