Yearsofpain

Yearsofpain [+ favourites]

Eva. People say memories are really things that we should cherish while we can. Years ago I lost a love that still haunts me to this second. Eventhough Im married to another for many years, I still cant run from this memory. It still hurts..like the day it happened. The women Im married to is probably the best thing that has happened to me including my child but I still hurt. There are days coming home that I want to bury my car and my memories into the median. I still wonder if this women feels the pain like I do or has she forgotten those memories. She still keeps close to my parents yet Im so far away. What can I do, I know I shouldnt feel like this but yet the years have past and the memories still bring the tears. I cant tell my wife..I cannot hurt her. Your the first that has ever heard my pain..my years of pain. Any advice would be great. Thank you.

I dont know if I have done this correctly. I would like for someones advise.

Dear Eva. I saw her today. She is still the person I remember. Just as beautiful as the day we separated. GOD it HURTS! To see her made my feelings just get stronger. I know I havent seen her in years but it felt like the day after we broke up. Eva what can I do....or what should I say... or what should I do. I know I should just keep her as a memory, but I want her to be with me. Please help me with your advice.

Hi Yearsofpain,

How realistic is the possibility of you and her ending up together given the reality of your lives? Is she married? Does she have children? Does she feel the same as you? Would she be willing to risk everything by pursuing you? Would you be willing to risk everything to pursue her? How genuine do you honestly believe your desire towards her is? Do you feel it is possibly fantasy? Do you think you desire her because you are unhappy in your own marriage? Do you contemplate the possibility that she isn't what you think she is?

Why did the relationship end? Who ended it? Why is she still in your life in any way? Why does it seem you are hurting more than her? Does your wife know? Why don't you tell her?

Hi Eva. Good questions. Yes she is married with children. Funny thing her 3rd child was born the same day as my child and even had the same doctor at the same hospital. Eva.. things that I tell you I know sound like a movie but are truely real. You ask am I ready to give up my marriage and what I have..my answer would be YES! I truely love her that much. What scares me.. is hurting my child. This would totaly crush me. Does she love me..well I cant answer that. NO ONE knows that I care soo much. I ask myself..Why does she still keep close to my parents if she dont care. She knows it hurts my wifes feelings when she appears while we are there. I want so much to talk to her but can never do so. It hurts. Eva, I feel like such a FOOL. I feel like I am this nutcase for loving her this long but I cant get it out of my head nor can I get it out of my mouth. As I type this my heart hurts so bad, it actually is pounding out of my chest. I hope this helps.

Hi Yearsofpain,

Let us approach this in a systematic way that provides you all the answers you need while placing you at as little risk as possible.

I believe the first thing you should do is ascertain whether you are living in a fool's paradise with your feelings or if there is some legitimacy to it. This therefore involves talking to her about it to see how she feels. Do you think you are up to this?

If so, under what circumstances can you meet and do you feel comfortable enough to approach it with her in a calm, controlled and logical manner?

Hi Eva. God I hope Im not living in a fantasy. I have been feeling this way for years. I would love to sit down and speak with her. Getting the time with her would be the issue. Her husband and my wife. I dont know how I would have the opportunity and if I did would I freak her out... (most likely). Eva...Im lost for words...Im lost for hope. Just thinking about her drives me crazy and I dont know how I would be able to speak to her. I kinda hope she comes by my parents while Im there. I have my fingers crossed.