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Where Oh Where has my "Little" Sarah Gone...?

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U.N. Owen

Where Oh Where has my "Little" Sarah Gone...? [+ favourites]

I met with a young woman in an accounting school...

We were both in the Marine Corps at the time...

We subsequently were stationed at nearly every "duty" - station together right up to our transitioning "out" of the Marine Corps.

I trained her to the best of my ability, she soared with what I gave her...

She eclipsed me in Rank for reasons mostly not integral to this discourse...

We LOST contact...

Nearly a perfect match... she loved me and I her more each day that passes...

I only found out from my estranged Mother that she was contemplating marrige about a decade ago... (my mother intentionally kept this from me - as I said e'strange'd....

Granted we are both in a position to do so... can this or should this deep attraction be pursued by either of us if:

1. Parents from different (though reflective) cultures - expressing to us both that the relationship would be unwelcome in their lives... (I'm Jamaican she's Italian)

2. Both our fathers are our worlds... we live by their approval in many ways... family is everything in most ways... but now we're 35 years old... does thought independent of outside influence have a place here more so than the contrary?

3. Our birthdays are 2 days apart in March. (LngOL...!)

Anything you have to offer will be greatly appreciated.

Dwayne

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36 Posts / 37M

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Eva

Hi there,

quote:
expressing to us both that the relationship would be unwelcome in their lives

This seems to be of concern, but not too large a concern from your tone.

quote:
Both our fathers are our worlds... we live by their approval in many ways...

But this seems to be a large issue for you, and it seems it may be a large issue with her as well.

You are asking for assistance because you know what is right (as we most do) and you do not know if you have the strength to pursue what is right (as we most don't) and seek help in separating the two so that you can more clearly see what is right from wrong (as is necessary).

If you are a perfect match, and she is willing as are you, then you foresee a good relationship.

Your families are not accepting of this. If they are not accepting of this for your best interests, then you should seek their advice and determine the truth of the situation.

If they are not accepting of this for their best interests, then you must acknowledge that their opinions are biased by self-interests which overshadow your best interests.

If you get advice from them and it helps you, then your situation will change and you can make a more educated decision. If their advice is found to be biased and therefore unhelpful for you, then you must decide whether you wish to pursue what is right or concede to your parents' will.

And although it sounds like conceding to your parents will is not an option, it certainly is. Sometimes we need our parents so badly that we would be better off alone and miserable than with the love of our life but feeling guilty the whole time.

U.N. Owen

I have found it easier to seperate my need(s) for outside stimulation for my own thoughts from the act of doing something for its own sake...

Like art for the sake of art... or music...

And like displaying the art that pleases others or playing the favorite music of others ... ( which can be friendship for friendship's sake )...

Where I seek to throw the bathwater out and keep the baby... our parents seem to think they are inseperable...

Is this a by-product of the artificial or imagined "generation gaps"...? By that I mean the idea that by generation one, to another, we experience anything new or unheard of as opposed to our children or our parents...

Outside of technological improvements... generation gaps seem more mythological than logical to me... less than real and more like ego or individuality trying to express some form of permanence...

Where Oh Where has my "Little" Sarah Gone...?


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