To: trapped

To: trapped [+ favourites]

To the girl trapped. This is funny. I feel like all these things are talking about myself. You are not feeling trapped because of your family trust me. Everyone feels like this at some point in life. It is easy for us as humans to associate these feelings with whatever is around us. It's natural. We need a reason.

I am religious. Religion is trapping me. My family is trapping me. Society is trapping me. Everything is trapping me. But they aren't really. Everything is the same as it always was and always will be. Inside I am a totally different person. I go crazy often wow my friends threaten to put me in a straight jacket, but they love it. Im not crazy. I don't know who I am yet. You probably don't know who you are yet. hence the goth inside you. I will let you know.

There is no such thing as a goth within someone. It is a cliche set up by society to help people feel better as they don't know who they are. No-one ever knows fully who they are. Running away to become a goth won't work you will still be trapped it's a natural feeling. You are not a goth. You think you are. You might have similar interests as people you see that are goths. You can be who you are without changing your appearance. I am not who I look like because I know what I wear doesn't make me who I am.

London is not a nice place. You will end up homeless or in a homless shelter. A place where a lot of violent drug users live. You will end up turning to drugs because you will still feel trapped. You will be too scared to go home because you will think it's too late and that your family won't forgive you. You are linking feelings together and getting confused. It's like when I am thirsty I think Im hungry but I am still hungry even when I eat the whole fridge. It's because really I need a drink and my body thinks that the only place I can get water is from food because I don't drink enough water.

It is easy to FEEL depressed. But you will most likely not be depressed. You don't know how to make yourself feel real. You think becoming a goth or your "inner self" will make you feel real. It will not. You don't feel real because when you were young you were innocent you knew little about the world. You didn't have anywhere near the amount of worries you have now. When you were young you were happy, you were free. Now you don't quite know how to adjust because this is somewhat new. You certainly weren't a goth as a young child so why would you be one now. You don't change in that way. I can tell you you won't feel free no matter what you do you will be trapped.

Until you get used to your situation and develope the ability to control your life more. This will come naturally. It's not something you can make happen over night. Your mum loves you. She might have a heart attack (in the way you are saying it) because she loves you naturally nothing can change that. She gave birth to you. We as women worry about what our mothers think of us alot. It's because we think we need to live up to their expectations.

But what we think is their expectations are not really. Wanting to kill yourself is not good. When you get older you will look back and think how silly was that. because life is only hard at the present because we are blinded by our situation. We see no outcome and therefore think it is aweful. But the more we experience the more we can recognise feelings and know that it will be Ok. You will be Ok. Do trust me when I say You are NOT a goth. You are NOT trapped. You WILL get over it. Its natural to feel this way.

Just chill. enjoy life it's great. Education is important. If you have an opportunity to go to uni be greatful. Not many people do. It is probably one of the most important choices you will make. Let me tell you also. UNI LIfe is hard. So very hard. Don't be under the influence that it will be a breeze. But you will get over it. It make you strong. It's hard because you will have financial difficulties. You will be homesick. You will find the work hard. But there is support there. Your family will be proud of you. They will be a phonecall away. If you run away. You have all these problems and more. There will be no one to turn to. Also Uni will get you far in life. Even if you don't get a job in your field of study, you will learn so many important things in life that will amaze you. You will learn to look after yourself but you will have support still. You will learn what society is like. You will learn so many things that you will benefit from.

As I mentioned in another response to another person, everything you are stating here is wishful thinking that you are placing upon another to justify your own decisions.

A lot of what you have stated lends very little empathy to the original poster and if you will notice, sounds very much like the things a parent would say to a child to dissuade them from pursuing life choices that oppose what they want.

Some tactics include:

1) It's all in your mind.
2) It's part of growing up.
3) You'll understand when you're older.
4) You will perish and die if you disobey.

All of the tactics used in your line of thinking are emotionally manipulative, but most importantly, disrespectful.

You should be aware that the acceptance of these beliefs in your own life by your own parents is something you will always silently resent. This is because these tactics do not address your cry for freedom and actually serve to tighten the noose around your neck, rather than let you breathe.

There are many glaring real-world problems with a lot of what you are saying in your post. The suggestion to "just chill" equates "don't think so much". Your paragraph about London being a harsh place may or may not be true, but your suggestion is not provided as an informative snippet but rather a warning that these bad things will definitely happen to you.

Everything you have suggested and even your method of speech is very typical of repression - we find some level of peace when we repress our inner rebellion and feel that our need to share this information and entice others to do so as well is actually because we are kind loving people.

But the truth is, you are only happy when your mind is occupied with all the things you mentioned - your religion, your family, your friends. In silence, alone, all you will hear is your inner rebellion and dry unhappiness, which is why you will avoid being alone and thinking about your fears as much as possible. This is the signature of repression, and will always lead to emotional problems in later years.

Although repression is sometimes necessary, and it may be necessary for you to repress yourself, it is incorrect to suggest and even believe that this is the answer to feeling trapped. Embracing your cage does not equate freedom - it creates the illusion that you are free because what everyone wants you to be is actually what you want.

But the one thing that is for certain is that you can never arbitrate what you actually want. All you can do is fool yourself into thinking it's not true because it is very inconvenient.

quote:

---

things a parent would say to a child to dissuade them from pursuing life choices that oppose what they want.

---

Thanks for the psycho-analysis. I think life is what you make it. If you want life to suck it will. If you want things to mold into place and work for you then why can't they. But one does not need to go to extremes to the point of self harm or depression because they think their life is crap or they are trapped because they are not trapped at all. We as humans feel trapped but it is merely because we are still growing and are still learning and will grow out of these feelings. Life will never be perfect. There will always be trials. But we ought to overcome them. And enjoy life because we will be waiting for ever otherwise. Also my parents don't teach me such things.

Hi there,

Thanks for responding with an open mind.

I don't think it is anyone's place to dissuade anyone else from doing anything they want. Although depression and suicide are not attractive ideas and oppose our instinctual need to survive, my purpose is to help someone find the information within themselves that they simply can't hear. It's not my purpose to judge or restrict what that information might be.

That beind said, I have not yet encountered a situation where self-harm was the solution to the problem. It is, however, important for every person to discover this and walk this path themselves. And the only way to do this is to be free to make whatever choice they want and then seek education about those possible choices.

Life is full of trials and problems, and yes, we often feel suffocated and caged and there are solutions to it that do not lead to depression or self-harm.

But these problems must be examined so that solutions are found. Your original suggestion seemed to be of the mind that nothing was really wrong and that it will pass with time. Problems do not pass with time - with time, we forget there is a problem and repress it.

Therefore, the solution is not in ignoring it and moving on to the next best thing. It is accepting that there is a problem, and then examining everything there is to examine about it to find a possible solution.

You don't seem to be of the mind that there actually is a problem - that it is all the result of youth and not external forces that cage us, be it family, society or religion. In my experience, this is false - it is almost always one of those three.

And with time, we just accept them, and convince ourselves that we like it that way.

Then no one is happy if this is the case, because a lot of things can't be solved. We have to take the best things from life.

There are few sources of unhappiness in this world we are unable to solve with an open mind and the drive to be truly free. Accepting things you cannot control is very different than embracing them and forgetting what you hope for.