To: Scared and Confused

To: Scared and Confused [+ favourites]

I think the fact that you fear being homosexual suggests you are not really. I guess I am in a kinda similar situation to you. I also am of similar age and have never even dated anyone. I am also in further education. There are a lot of people around me where sex is a big thing but they know I am virgin and they except that. In fact a few people have only had one sexual parter and a few people only recently lost their virginity. Alot of people make out to be highly sexually active because of peer pressure most are actually just like us. I find it very hard as I haven't had opportunities to date and think there is something wrong with me quite often. My dad actually said to me several times that I was gay. I was scared to date because of my family situation. I am not gay. I am attracted to the opposite sex. When you are under the influence of drugs you will do anything. You will find that if your friend was a girl when you were taking drugs that you would have been attracted to her however unattractive she may be. There is lots of time to get to that point. If you think you will go wrong you will. Relax. You really ought to meet a girl first. And get to know her. She will respect that you might not be ready if she is a decent girl. She probably won't be ready. You can grow together. Take your time and have fun in life. Don't worry about such things. I get the opinion you are very nervous around people. If you were once outgoing and have become nervous because of society. Then there really is no reason to be nervous. Don't think about it. Concentrate on your studies. Make good friends with both males and females. Then it will come naturally. At least thats what I am doing. Just enjoy life. Don't worry. It will be Ok. And I don't believe you are gay at all from what you have said. If you were gay you wouldn't be so worried about it. It would feel natural. You would worry what others thought of you but not of what you think of you. The idea that I might be gay terrifies me but I know I am not. It is normal for people at our age to go through a phase of being attracted to people our own gender. It's strange but everyone does. They won't admit it but they do. Even unconscously. But you will know deep in your heart. If you tell your self you are gay you will start to believe you are. It's called self - prophesy.

I hope this makes sence.

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If you think you will go wrong you will

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The idea that I might be gay terrifies me but I know I am not.

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I did not mean being gay is wrong. I mean things go wrong in life in general.

I know I am not gay because I am not attracted to women. I am comfortable with my sexuality. I believe in such a case it is possible to know if such a thing scares you then you are experiencing a repulsion to that thing and therefore do not come under that category as such.

Hi there,

Well, fear and repulsion are quite different. You do not fear engaging in a repulsive act and can fearlessly force yourself to engage in it for whatever reason. However, you choose not to because of repulsion.

More often than not, the repulsion is the result of fear, not the other way around.

However, whether this is the case with you or not is up to you to discover. You stated that you are religious - unless you are Buddhist the chances are your religion makes you fear being gay before you get a chance to examine whether you are repulsed from it.

I am Mormon. I have no problem with gays. I couldn't care what my religion tells me to do. I do what I want to do.

I think you are beginning to make sence to me.