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Free life with responsibility = happiness?

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U.N. Owen

Free life with responsibility = happiness? [+ favourites]

Hi Eva,
I am a 30 year-old male with a soul that loves all things artistic and beautiful, loves to be happy, feel free, and pleasure the senses (food, massage, beauty, music, aromas, ad of course, sex!). I also feel intense satisfaction and peace when I help someone, make someone feel better, put a smile on their face... in short, when I give them something and see them become happy as a result. Where that leaves me in life is at a point of always seeming to try to give pleasures to others but really wishing I had the same for myself. An obvious example would, of course, be with my wife, but the same is also true for other people (albeit to a lesser degree). The problem is that I often end up feeling empty inside and unfulfilled emotionally. What can I do to fulfill my craving desire for sensual stimulation?

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Eva

quote:
Where that leaves me in life is at a point of always seeming to try to give pleasures to others but really wishing I had the same for myself.

Presumably, you give pleasures to others because you love them and anticipate that they love you also. If we define love as "wanting peace, freedom and happiness unto something or someone else" then those that love you will actually be "loved" when you are "loved", because it will make them feel happy and free when you are happy and free.

Therefore, are you sufficiently "loving" them by assuring that you are sufficiently free and happy? What pleasures do you give to others that you wish unto yourself? Why don't you have that yourself? What would it take for you to get that yourself?

Will those that "love" you react badly if you were to attempt to seek such things yourself? Does that question their "love" for you?

Why do you give people pleasures, and why does that make you happy? Are you capable of NOT giving them pleasure, if even for a test purpose, without feeling extremely bad/guilty? If so, is it plausible that you don't do it for pleasure, but to appease guilt? Is it possible that your selfless nature, and your want to be philanthropic may be interwined with guilt which forces you into perpetually being selfless?

quote:
problem is that I often end up feeling empty inside and unfulfilled emotionally

This is the key. Why would you feel this way if it was truly solely out of pleasure? Wouldn't this reflect a contradiction - ie, the idea that you are doing it for selfless reasons (because you know you are a good person) but somewhere along the line your choice in being assertive was somehow dissolved?

Thanks for your question, and I look forward to your responses.

Free life with responsibility = happiness?


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