Chicks

No, the most important line is not to see the inner child. It is to see the truth. There is no hope beyond truth. Truth is truth, it is the way it is, and hope does not alter or change that.

Horrible, horrible, horrible advice. Hoping cocaine is good for you doesn't make it so, and believing that hope will make it so is a death sentence.

Such horrible advice.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

Chiron, I understand your concern about attracting negativity toward myself but I have never been one to put up with anyone's crap, even when I was little heh. I thrive on human interaction though, so finding negativity is an inevitability. I don't generally discuss personal relationships but it feels like I'm in a damn good one currently.

"I am Akba-Atatdia"

Wyote, I wasn't implying you were in any way negative, or even a push over. But its just that Ive noticed over and over (both in myself and in the younger members of my family) that whenever I feel bummed and shit happens, its useful to take a good look inside myself asking 'is there something in here that somehow linked me to this experience?' (most especially if the experience has happened more than once). Its not about blame though which as I suggested may be the glue that keeps us stuck...

But most often these unhappy moments of self reflection have uncovered some nasty hidden beliefs (about myself or others) which have unwittingly 'led' me into the same circumstances each time. And once spring cleaned I have honestly not had the experience repeated...just new one's, lol.

Anyway I do not presume to advise you as such, only to suggest that this might be a useful tool. You are far too intelligent to have been walked over, and I just wish there was some way the young human heart could be spared from all this..., but it is just a metamorphosis and you do have a fine human heart of that I am sure.

PS Decius: boy oh boy when you draw your sword you are amazing to behold. Indeed it is such an amazing talent you have that I would find it infinitely satisfying to see you in a debate with Bush for example. As agile as any Samurai, your ability to cut straight to the bone is breathtaking. And now I'm off to comfort poor Noodles who is bound to be undergoing a metamorphosis all of her own now...

I've taken your advice to heart for the last couple of days, Chiron. I actually realized that when it comes to relationships (of any sort), I pay way too much attention to other people's notions of how they should operate, and not enough to my own feelings. This whole thread has been a great contributor in re-focusing my emotions!

"I am Akba-Atatdia"

That's really cool to hear, Wyote.

Its great to see someone actually take onboard what others say instead of thinking they know best and will go their own way without really listening to another opinion.

I mean what's the point of coming to a forum to learn if you only want to tell eveyone how much you know and never listen?

Your mind will stagnate if you cannot accept that you may be wrong at times, and there is another way to look at things.

The reason I like this site is that I feel I am growing as a person by communicating with the people here. And Im always open to suggestion.

I also hope that in my discourse with others, something I say may be taken on board and help them grow also. Or even just help them get through a tough time.

One of my favourite quotes on this site is:

quote:

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Every man is my superior in that I may learn from him.

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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."

Wow! reading these last comments have really opened my eyes to how much men trivialise relationships with women. If you see a woman as a peice of meat and a potential fuck (this is a word I rarely use but in this case seems appropriate) then you get everything you deserve! If you go into a relationship at a platonic level and build on that, love will come naturally and love making wil be sweet and you won't have half the problems of disrespect on both sides. Then if you are lucky enough to build a life with this person, sharing everything, it should work out.

I'm not stupid though I know there are break downs in relationships, hell I was separated for three years. But if you bolt at every problem and dont try and see it from both sides of the bed then it will inevitably end in a bitter break-up.

If I've learnt anything in my life it is the importance of listening to what people are saying to you (really listening) and then listening to your self responding - you know what? even thinking before opening your mouth can help sometimes!

""Each child holds the world in an open hand to mould it into any shape they choose.""

Wow. reading the last comment really opened my eyes to how much girls jump to baseless conclusions about men on the basis of a few scattered examples that confirm the stereotypes they've grown up with. lol sorry but generalisation much? I can't see how you read that in to this thread. In fact this thread seems so vague to me I'm not even sure exactly what situation we are taking about except for Wyote being annoyed with some sort of unspecified relationship issue which he blames on the female sex as a whole.

Does this all seem vague? I do apologize. That was a highly unexpected response to this thread though.

I think my personal perspective and relations with people is a little ass backward from the rest of the world. I see women in the media being treated like shit but guys that I surround myself with don't make a habit of treating women poorly. So, sometimes it is difficult for me to even believe that men actually behave in such deplorable ways. I am more directly affected by how women have treated me and my fellow kin... which over the years has turned out to be just as bad, if not worse than what I see men doing to women on the television.

The past few years have been very eye opening for me. I have become more aware of and have personally witnessed terrible emotional and physical attrocties from both male and female friends, acquantinces and lovers. This has created some sense of balance of the sexes in my mind, but as I stated before I am and have been more directly affected by the negative actions of women than I have of men.

I have always tried to believe that each sex, though uniquely different, is essentially equal and balanced. A more conscious way of looking at things however, is to view humans as a whole. We are all one, we all share similar needs and wants. Decius' advice is extremely useful in that when you see who a person is without all of their layers of bullshit; gender, race, economic standing... they all become irrelevant.

*Many men become bitter and angry at women over the years. I was hoping to relate to others in similar situations by making this thread. Lots of women become bitter and angry at men as well. I wanted to create this discussion for others to see and learn that it's ok to be frustrated at times about this sort of thing and to be able to come here as reminder of possible solutions to the problem, of which Decius gave the perfect one in my humble opinion. I thought this would have ended after his response in fact, but I'm pleased that many others have taken an interest.

"I am Akba-Atatdia"

My advice to you was specific to your ability to love - I believe you can, quite wholeheartedly. Making conclusions and observations about who is the bigger asshole (men or women) is a completely separate discussion. So I would encourage everyone to leave out the pure stupidity of representing your gender - it's a trap only a fool would follow.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

Wyote, I hope I didn't offend you, I've just read your post above me and think I completely misread the whole thing. Maybe it was Decius' response that pissed me off, for some reason he seems to often make me mad (which isn't like me - I don't normally fly off the handle at stuff like this.) You actually seem like a pretty genuine guy, and I hope you find your soul mate.

""Each child holds the world in an open hand to mould it into any shape they choose.""