I'm Stuck In a Rut, and I Can't Move On...

No offense taken. I think you're right. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough, and I'm expecting everything to work out for me. Thanks for the input.

here is another thing to think about, this builds on the ideas presented vigil. What hurts you more: them not being your friends? or being lonley? Lets say hypotheticly you can be friends with a whole difforent group of friends and it was doable. WOuld you in a heartbeat screw those old ones. This isnt hypethaticle either, i'm sure that there is another group of people out there at your school, and not just one that you can associate with. I'm sure that you can make friends with those other groups. I personaly think you can do it, i dont see the reason you can't.

Yes, I could make more friends easily. Its just that the friends that are excluding me have been my set of friends since 2nd grade. They are the only ones who are deeper than what type of bubblegum is the best or who is the best rap artist. They're intelligent and I understand them, and they understand me. I'd like to be one of the guys again, but I don't know how. I'd like to be successful at SOMETHING, but I don't know how.

I'm going to take that guys opinion and try to make friends with everybody and try to see HOW I'm going to get my success back. But more advise would be EXTREMELY appriciated.

have you ever heard of the saying "you cant undo what is already done, but you can make anu what is undone."
im not saying that they wont be your friends anymore but if they are still your friends dont give up any you may have made.

"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"

I realize this probably isn't what you want to hear but I think you should know that maybe you should stop trying to be the top. I'm not saying that you should stop doing your best, but I think you are expecting too much. I know what it's like to be the best at what you do. At a certain point you just kind of loose your thunder, you get to a point where you cannot progress any further. You are going to have to work to get what you used to achieve with ease. I think you are expecting to just be able to do the things you used to with the same effert you used to put into it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should stop expecting to be the most popular. You said you wanted to "get back to the top, where you belong" well maybe you should stop thinking that that's where you belong. You would be surprised at how amazing life can be to not be the center of attention. Especially now in high school. I can understand you wanted to be included again but i think you should stop trying to be the center of attention, stop thinking that you belong on top. I used to be ring leader myself until I went to a new school with new people. Now I know how to lead, and be led. I think the best lesson for you right now, would be to learn how to follow. It's obvious that you know how to lead, now you need to follow those that you used to lead. Show them that you can be a part of the group, and be one of the guys, and not lead the guys.

I hope this helps, and good luck,

fireangel

"May wisdom flow through my mind, and love burn in my heart"

I understand what you're saying about thinking "me me me" all the time. I know that I'm not the center of the universe, and I don't expect to be either. I'm just not treated like I'm part of the universe. My thunder has been missing for years, I just wish that I had some part of it back. There is a feeling in my gut that somethings gotta give. Remember its not just the friend issue, its my whole existence issue. Everything I do is a failure. But there are some changes going on outside my power that my give me a new chance. My parents are seperating and I'm moving, this will give me the fresh start that I might need. I will be moving into a town with a lot of my friends; thus giving me the opertunity to spend more time with them. I might get to be one of the guys again. But other than the moving, I feel like something is changing within myself (no I'm not trying to sound cheezy and inspirational) but I've taken some of the advice that you guys have given to me, and I've decided to use it.

So far, I've decided that I don't need to do everything perfect, and that if I take progress step by step, I will regain some of the confidence that I used to have, which leads to even more success and starts a chain reaction. I don't know if I told you guys this, but as you should know when you're not really part of the gang and you're just trying to fit in, you tend to be the guy that turns into a bitch for people. Well I've decided to fuck all that, and I'm doing things my way. That sounds like a bad idea I know, but I'm not saying I'm going to be a little asshole who walks around thinking he's the only way, blah blah. I've been more assertive and confident, and that character has gotten me more success than anything else. I'm not taking any more shit, I'm going to believe in myself, and I'm not going to let anybody tell me I'm not good at anything, or that w/e I do sucks b/c now that I realize it doesn't I've been a lot happier.

I don't think I'm out of the woods, and I'm not setting myself up for disappointment, so I beg you guys for any advise you could think of, God knows I'm going to need it.

i have heard tons of people say that.
Can you determine what this means?
"woods can protect you from fire but at some point when the fire reaches you, you had better be out of the woods or they will trap you"

Donts miss your chance to escape the cover of loneliness and be among friends.

"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"

Oh I know, I've seen a lot of times where people start to take off, but then they stop and it doesn't progress past that, but I assure you, I'm so sick of this that when I'm doing better I'm going to go all the way.

well i say kudos to you for finding the spirit to press on. I realize that my entire thing before was about being self-centered but i don't know entirely that you have that problem. I think that we all do to a certain degree but for most no more than normal. It's good that you have become more assertive, it's a good quality when used properly. I think that we have done all we can for you. You are going to have to fight the rest of this one out on your own. But always remember that you will never be faced with a challenge you cannot handle. Even if you can't make it turn out the way you want it to...at least it turns out. Keep up the fighting spirit and never give up your battle!

"May wisdom flow through my mind, and love burn in my heart"

once you have momentum its easier to keep going. dont stop and good luck.

"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"