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just thoughts. don't reply.

User Thread
 39yrs • F •
fyrfly is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
just thoughts. don't reply.
This isn't going to work, you and I. At least not here, and at least not now. Maybe that will change; we'll just wait and see where gravity takes us. See, I tried. I really did. But something was missing, and sometimes the absence of something outweighs the presence of something else. I couldn't figure out what was missing, and believe me I tried. Every night I stayed up searching every sealed black box in my head, trying to find what it is that I've stored away. Isn't it funny how we search for ourselves at night, when no one else is around? I guess it goes to show how insignificant light is, and how significant silence can be.
I recently realized nothing was missing at all. It was all there. You, me, and the pen we used to sell our hearts. It was a three piece puzzle, and the image was flawless. Or so we thought. Turns out, our vision was perfect we just didn't look closely enough. I am flawed. I'm the imperfection that made the puzzle pieces incorrect. It was I who never paid you for your heart, and it was I who spilled all of the ink. It was I who was lost, and I am so sorry.
Next time I will tell you how rivers flowed for you, and how the leaves scattered in excitement when your torn up shoes walked the path. Next time I will have a new phrase for 'I love you', because three words and eight letters don't add up to my emotion, next time I will have my own words and my own letters to tell you exactly how I feel. Some that aren't so cliché. Next time I'll burst out with smiles and tears just so you realize that you echo through my whole body, and there is no antidote. Next time I will remind you that I'm here for ever.
But please don't let your heart fall; I'll hold it up if I have to. Please don't regret ever being with me, because I don't want to be a forgotten nightmare. You will never be alone. I may be else where, I may someday die, I might be gone with no warning, but no matter what happens, you will never be alone. If I am ever buried in riches, surrounded by marble and gold, you will be what I am thinking about. If I am ever lying in a ditch covered in blood and poisoned dirt, you will be my solace. You've reserved the place in my mind that I go to when I'm too sad to cry, or I'm too lonely to speak. So please don't be sad, and please don't be hurt, because I am and always will be yours, despite what physical evidence the world can provide. Love isn't physical, and it doesn't know dimensions.


plz dont reply. i do this just to get shit off my chest. i come here to say things that i dont want bouncing off into space.

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"never give up, never give in"
just thoughts. don't reply.
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