The Art of Self-Discovery

I am the gnome that sits on Wyote's shoulder. Wyote did not feel that he had anything useful to contribute to this topic for a very long time. At first glance it seemed like an excersize in futility to him. However, this topic has been like a splinter in his mind for quite some time now. He has gone about business as usual but at some point each day for the past couple of months he has thought about me and what I might be thinking about him; whether I would judge him harshly given the opportunity or whether I would babble on about how great he really is. Well, he's by no means perfect but nobody is. Lately he's been discouraged easily by various things but he's working on being a more resilient person. He works hard and plays harder and that philosphy has gotten him far in life. Overall he's very content but in his own mind it's very often an emotional roller coaster. He felt like posting here would help him put his mind at ease and he is very hopeful that other gnomes will be accepting of the one that he has on his shoulder. He's feeling better already, knowing that his gnome was finally able to contribute something of value.

"I am Akba-Atatdia"

As Chiron's gnome, I noticed that she immediately wanted to respond, yet hesitated (knowing that she had nothing of great value to contribute) and then wondered why she continued...

She exists as a blade of grass alongside others, in a vast plain of banality, but nevertheless gazes up into this vast Universe and wants to be heard, even if its but a squeak, she cannot bear to exist in silence as nothing!

Recognizing, and identifying with each other voice which speaks of self-searching, self-deception, love, anger, powerlessness, Humanity and what its like just being alive right now, she laughs out loud at at every fibre within her which cries "Grow, grow! "

I am zyphons little gnome. I do not sit on his shoulder i hide on his head. It is to dangerous on his shoulder, for fear rules there. There are always little odd red things with tails fighting on his shoulders. The white one has already fallen a while ago he is slowly dying on his shoulder. With no help to come. Zyphon loves to talk to people but always fears betrayal. He realizes that his little white robed friend is dying but he gets more and more depressed and confused. He is slowly falling to temptaion and rudeness. But with his little white robed friend talking fainter and fainter he begins to forget what the difference between them ever was. He tries hard but tends to lose to the two red ones. They feed and grow bigger on his shoulders making him lose more ground and his little friend goes smaller and smaller. Soon the red ones will reach me, on his head then he will be all alone, with noone to talk to. He feels his heart is dying along with the white robed one, he is losing and he knows it.

"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"

the gnome on this guys shoulder can tell you that this one is posting in this thread because he is feeling a void in him. the void which is left every time SHE pushes him away. he needs to do something, talk to someone about how he feels. he knows he deserved it, he knows he messed up, but he just wants her to understand that he never means to hurt her. he wants the best for her. he doesnt want to spend any time apart. he wants to spend his entire time and effort constructing something wonderful between them.

""for f*cking out loud!""

Hello. I am Attolia's gnome. Attolia thought she was the only one with a gnome. She is happy that others feel the need to talk to their gnomes, as she has done with me throughout her life. I used to be detached from her. One day, someone told her, "All that matters is YOU". After that day, we merged into each other.

More than anything else, Attolia needs stability in herself. She wants to be able to rely on herself because that is all she can control. When she feels unstable, she cries because she has lost faith in herself. She carefully reaches for the next stable footing in order to keep her faith alive. She still doesn't understand the universe, but loves everything in it like a sister. Bursting with compassion, she desperately wants to give others what she received herself for it pains her to see her other siblings on this planet unhappy.

"How can we be just in a world without mercy and merciful in a world without justice?"

Im Chained Wings gnome.

This is quite a taxing task for me to write about him because Chained Wings is a very confused person. He really doesn't know who he is. And though I have more intimate knowledge of the human underneath me, it is sometimes difficult for me to get through to him who he really is.

But I have been talking with him today, and I am going to try and reveal a little of the man whose shoulder I sit atop of.

Chained Wings sees this world as the most amazing, exciting, beautiful place ever created. And is so happy and grateful to have been given the chance to experience it and all its wonders. And not only that. But to be given the awareness of the fact he can see, hear, touch, taste and feel this great event called life.

He is the sort of person so passionate and so in love with life, he will often get lost gazing at the intricacies and beauty of a simple flower. Or spend hours sitting on the cliffs over the sea, watching the sun sink into the water, feeling high from every different shade of red, orange and pink the ebbing light paints for his to eyes.

He loves life so much. And feels feelings so strongly he is often prone to cry from the sheer beauty of it.

And because he loves it so much, the only thing he truly fears is death. The ending of his thoughts. The ending of his feelings. The ending of all the wonderful sights and sounds and experiences he is experiencing.

So until then, he will taste the world like a starving man and will drink deep of the nectar of existence and revel in the sheer dizzying excitement of knowing he is alive.

But, this I were my tale of Chained Wings takes a sad twist.

You see, as my master has gotten older, he feels he is seeing more and more of the horrible things in this world. Things that are ugly seem to leave long lasting impressions on the psyche of man, and this man is no different. The bad experiences linger long after the good ones are but a warm memory.

And as my master lives each year, he feels as if his perception is slowly becoming corrupted by what he see and experiences.

This scares him so much. He fears the hate and negativity all around him will onday make him into someone he would hate to be.

He has always prided himself on his integrity, honour and nobility.

He knows he is not perfect. No one is. But he can truly say that when he looks into the mirror, and sees beyond the face staring back, directly into the eyes, deep down into his soul- he is not in any way ashamed of who he is.

And as his gnome, who knows everything about him, all his dirty secrets, his flaws and his faults, I have to say I am proud to sit atop his shoulder.

But sadly Chained Wings sometimes feels he somehow got trapped on the wrong side of his mirror. He feels as though the world he lives in is a parallel universe he got sucked into. And the one he is in now just doesn't seem to make any sense to him. He feels alone, alienated and lost. He feels he is one of the very few voices in this world screaming WHY? when all the others are screaming WHO CARES!

He truly wishes he could run away from this world and find the one he was meant to live in. The one he feels he belongs in. The one he would call HOME.

On the other side of the mirror Chained Wings once had strong wings of pure white feathers. Which lifted him up to the highest vistas. And he would stay up on the thermals of emotion, looking down on the world and all its wonders.

To be alive was to fly. To fly was to be high.

But one day, due to fate, and circumstance beyond his control, he found he was no longer able to take these flights of fancy. And that over the years, his life became more and more restrictive.

He tried so much in the beginning, with every ounce of his being, with every drop of blood, with every fibre of his body to fight the oppression and the uncontrollable circumstances he now found himself in.

He tried so frantically to find his way back to his side of the mirror, into the world when he was younger and everything made sense and he felt at home and it was so easy to just take off and the sky truly was the limit.

To Chained Wings, it is the single biggest tragedy of his life: knowing there is not one thing he can physically do, no matter how much he tries, no matter how much he wishes or changes his life. It can never be the way it once was.

And it makes him bitter to think of how much potential he once had, and how good his life once was. And that while others are free, they have neither the wings or the knowledge of how to fly.

And even worse, he boils with anger as he is forced to watch others affix their own chains and cage themselves in prisons of their own making due to ignorance or fear, or some other trivial inconvenience; wasting their lives away, when they have SO much to live for.

So Chained Wings has resigned himself to the fact he may never reach the heights he once reached, and that the other side of the mirror may have all been a dream, or just unattainable to him.

And he is still so very very happy to be alive. And moreso, to be aware and awake when the world around him is still sleepwalking through life.

Most of all, Chained Wings is happy to be CHAINED WINGS.

Despite all the pain and despite the hardships, the really strange thing he cannot work out, is that he actually would rather be who he is, more than any other person on this planet.

Tom Cruise can have stardom and fame and any woman he desires. And Paris Hilton can have her luxurious lifestyle, her millions and her Empire.

But Chained Wings will always have his unique way of seeing the world. And will always have his incomparable depth for passion.

And he will always have his dreams.
In which he will always have his flight.

"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."

As Chained Wing's gnome, I would just like to say on both our behalves, thankyou to Decius' gnome who started this thread, and thanks to all the other gnomes who were the first to speak out.

We both believe all people should let their gnomes out. And that they hide them because gnomes tell the truth about who they really are. Gnomes are not afraid to show their weaknesses and feelings, or their faults in a world that pretends to be prefect.

We both wonder why people act the way they do. When they are totally honest they seem to be afraid and lost and alone also. But for some stupid reason they put on a mask of indifference and build high walls to keep others out, so no one knows of the weakness or fear within.

Both Chained Wings and I wish everyone would just let their barriers down and admit to not being perfect and to not knowing all the answers.

We feel the more people that did this would certainly make the world a better place.

Chained Wings hopes by letting me tell the world who he really is deep down inside that others may also feel encouraged to do so. And that it is alright to not be "together" or in control. He hopes his honesty has contributed to this thread in some way and he was happy to be able to let his weaknesses show without fear of reprisal or condescension.

All this hiding and pretending to know everything, or to be tough, or to be uncaring or to not be afraid means we can never ask for help.

And we can never give help because no one else is asking for it either.

We wish society would stop bullshitting each other, pull down the facade and be real. It will help us all become better humans.

If we hide our true personality in a box so no one can see it, it will never have room to grow.

"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."

Hi everyone! my name is tweak. I'm the gnome that sits on Mugen's shoulder and thought I would reply to this thread again, I'm a little more informed of what I should be saying about him.

I think his most valuable trait is his kind heart. I always catch him out of the corner of my eye, always putting someone before himself and not thinking anything of it. I think the reason he does this so frequently is because he is always at his peak of happiness when he sees others happy; being the cause of that happiness just makes it that much better.

From all the things I see him reading and the people he associates with, I can definitely see where he get's his positive attitude, namely most of the people he admires so much on this forum. He feels so comfortable knowing there's a place where people like you exist and share similar feelings on topics he enjoys and believes he has learned more lessons and different imformation from the people on here than everyone that has been/ tried to be in his life. If anything, everyone on here has played more of a family role to him than they realize, teaching him everything he wishes he could have learned from his "real" family. It facinates me to witness some of the thoughts and ideas him and his friends discuss at "tea time". They're so enthusiastic about the well being of themselves and others, it's truely a shame to see the world can't "see the world through their eyes."

Although he is sweet at heart and mind, many people tend to misinterperet his intentions and sometimes lead to conflict, which he won't engage in unless it's only to resolve it through explaination and talking about what's bothering that person. He is sometimes very afraid of what people may think of him if he says something people won't agree with; and this is his biggest weakness as an individual because he could have so much potential to success if he just took a few risks. Why this happens, I have no idea, probably because I already know him the he wants people to see him. The only other one who shares this view of him is his girlfriend who he feels is the single greatest person he has ever met because of the connection they instantly have together and he sees the striking similarities between them. I sometimes get scared sitting on his shoulder because when ever they have those moments of immeasureable happiness and joy of eachother's presence, he's knees seems like they're going to buckle and I'm gunna go flyin' XD!!

I think overall Mugen is such an amazing guy who really has showed me how inspiring he can be to people when he finally takes the risk he's been wanting to take and find out more often that not they give him a chance and accept his way of thinking about things, because he always seems to sway people's views with his words and sincerity. I would really like to stick around to see where he goes in life with all this positive energy about him and his inventive and loving nature.

well, now you know a little more about him from my point of view, perhaps I will stop by again to update on his situation. take care everyone.

"I'm a human being, God Dammit!! My life has value!!!"

sup I'm the gnome on Cory's shoulder. From what I can see this kid is pretty indifferent about everything that goes on in his life. Bad things and good things happen and he just can't seem to get excited/worried about these things. This actually troubles him as to why his emotions do not respond correctly to the current situation. But then on the flip side, he thinks that he must be sane because I mean hell, he's worried about it in the first place. He's generally in a pretty laid back state, doesn't worry about his future nor does he concern himself with things he's done in the past. He absolutely loves himself and knows that whatever he tells himself he's going to do, he'll end up doing. The few things that he actually treasures in life are his immediate family and his best friends; Matt, Tony, and John. He would do anything for these people and the actual thought of anything happening to them will bring a tear to his eye.

I can tell what he's thinking right now though. He's thinking that this whole typing exercise useless for himself, because he's so in tune with his wants, fears, weaknesses, etc that he doesn't need to practice this.

But then, one must ask himself, why does he do this then?

""All god's invited except jahova, 'cause hes a douche" -Dan the Man"

I have no name only a role. I have been sitting atop Eriks arm for 20 years now. This year i celebrate my 21st year in service of watching him be. my human Erik being. I hear his thoughts and also his voice. The Erik life that has been has changed from being one driven by others, to one influenced by others, to one independently navigated. The independent navigation, well this goes well, breifly, Erik picks a road to travel down, and just beyond the point where the fuel tank is half empty looks at the map and finds out that there was a better way to go. Im not sure whether the map changes or Erik misreads it, this happens quite often. another better route grabs Eriks attention and once this happens Erik cant get his mind off it. it superseeds his current journey taking the air out of the tyres.

I am the little gnome that sits here on Josh's shoulders.

I see that Josh is under tremendous stress within his life. Although he has created his own stress he is able to manage it quite well and use it to his advantage by drawing energy from the stress and making himself overcome it.

Owning his first business has made him realize that this is his only chance to succeed in life (financially) and that is very important to him. Quite possibly is the most important thing to him. Growing up with absolutely nothing is the driving force behind that need.

With every day challenges of trying to juggle his social, personal and business life he finds he has little to no patience for the rest of the world. It also makes him not care about it either.

He Urns to make everybody in his life happy but realizes that it is impossible as as he is making one person happy the other gets mad and resentful that he is not with them. It really does tear him up inside, but come 6am every morning it is back to work and all else is put on the back burner.

"My mind is tearing me apart, then it constructively puts me back together again."