| Why Mario Sunshine Sucks  [+ favourites]
1. Although some levels can be played with some level of discretion, the camera auto-responsiveness is so bad and so non-intuitive that although you will only get an eyelid tick most of the time, your controller's life is limited given the random event where you die because it suddenly zooms out, through a building, and you try to navigate over an endless chasm using only your shadow and the wall of the building. The immediate bursts of rage, although seemingly a problem, are not as damaging as the constant terror one lives in when playing the game in fear of its anticipation.
2. The rather strict level of difficulty in certain levels is highly contradictory to the overall tone of the game: Spraying water to clean polution, cool down pets, and clean giant teeth. The random tidbits ("be nice to your animals" or "clean your teeth" are reminiscent of pre-school. I don't know about you, but I want my child to learn how to write script before they get living tips from a video game.
3. Maybe it's just me, but the "bad guy" music is so 80s, so midi, that you could swear you were playing a surround sound version of the original Mario game. Nevermind the bad guy music... the entire game is filled with annoying little didies that have no place in the new millenium.
4. Many of the "puzzles" that exist in the game are non-intuitive... and just like some roleplaying games where you tap your head for not being smart enough to know the hose is used to choke the chicken so that it lays an egg that has the room key in it, I'm not certain how we're supposed to know that spraying nasty yoshi juice on fish turns them into moving platforms.
5. It's not fun. There's no punchline to that. A few levels are interesting.... some are graphically pleasing... but overall, you really go from level to level just to finish the game, not because you're excited... but because it's Mario and you want to be able to say you beat it.
6. Like the camera, the controls are quite annoying at times. Swimming, for example, is quite annoying. Yet some levels have time limits and fish that eat you that aren't really supposed to be a problem, but given the annoying nature of the controls, it becomes a whole new level! (refer to #5)
7. What's new? A water backpack? Cleaning polution? Super Mario introduced levels and the whole world... Mario 2 was a little different than the rest, so we'll leave it. Mario 3 introduced the leaf (or feather) and the tail for flying. It also introduced worlds. Mario on the SNES introduced Yoshi and a deeper world. Mario 64 introduced 3d Mario. Now we have mario sunshine... where we lose the goombas, lose the turtles, lose the ghosts, lose the flying, and everything is replaced by polution and a water nozzle... all taking place in Delfino, an island resort instead of the ever loved Mushroom Kingdom. Oh, and did we mention that Mario Sunshine shipped months after the gamecube came out? Good way to keep your fans interested, morons.
8. Overall the game has a childish tone... none of the bad guys are really scary... they're just like the bad kid in class. It feels a lot more like we're all good friends but some of us are just angry for some reason. All the people you talk to speak to you like they are retarded, and like them, you are retarded.
"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."
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