Recapturing youth?

I have a recommendation.

Take up a sport. You will not find someone like yourself in any predictable time span. However, engaging in any group activities that provide a common ground for you and others gives you the facade of social position, and is also reasonably entertaining.

You should not decide whether you wish to fit in or whether such people are unlike you. Just decide to engage in a social activity such as sports and stick with it.

Is this an option for you?

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

Hum. I'm not terribly fit although I have tried to take up fencing and thus joined our unis club. However British universities don't operate in quite the same way as American ones. I couldn't name the members of our major sporting teems and I don't think most students here could. I don't believe universities give scholarships for sports here like many U.S universities. Also fencing at least doesn't have that much of a social side.

I don't mean on a team. That would be competitive and give off an unpleasant atmosphere I think. What sort of activities do you like? Playing board games? Reading? Writing?

Go to http://www.meetup.com/ and see if there are any groups near you that relate to what you might like. Look for other sites like it that might cater to your area. Most of the people that go to these meetups don't know anyone else at the meetup unless they met at a previous meetup.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

lol then definitely not sports because I'm very competitive even at things I'm bad at. I do engage in various activities and I have made efforts to get more involved since my 1st post but it always seems to leave me feeling a little cold. Yes I enjoy the interaction but it's shallow and I know it will never really be what I want. I'm looking for that special bond you get growing up around others and sharing that exprence with them.

[  Edited by CodeWarrior at   ]

I think I see the problem... you are looking for a particular relationship, a specific bond, but I don't believe you will ever find what you are looking for. Maybe instead of trying to make this dream a reality, you should just take whatever relationships you have for what they are. Dissatisfaction will only occur through comparison. So I say, don't compare what you have to anything, then it will all be a gift. Perhaps your expectation of a deep relationship is what is turning other people off to you. It is amazing how our inner thoughts change the subtleties of our outer appearance. Stop over thinking things, be who you are and take what you get. I know it sounds corny but those that don't like who you are shouldn't matter in your life.

"I try my best to be just like I am but everybody wants you to be just like them."