metamentalidontknow

metamentalidontknow [+ favourites]

as you can tell by the topic, im disgruntled. I have always, in my life, be able to watch myself do things, interpret my actions, and see why i did subconcious things... sort of a 3rd person view.

the 3rd person me can ALWAYS influence me, what i think, and what i do... always except this one time.

With this in mind, i watched myself fall in love with a girl, only watch myself realize that she likes my best friend... what is it now so hard for me to watch myself stop loving?

[  Edited by Decius at   ]

Because all the important lessons are learned by losing control.

That if you were able to be in control of yourself from a young age (or from any age) that you would have nothing to learn as you grew older.

And I feel sorry for you... because people like you go I N S A N E when they lose control.

http://www.captaincynic.com/article.php3/artid=342

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

I agree.
Because I am one of those people also..
I have had to go to therapy for certain things because of love.
Gah!

"Anything is Possible when you think illogically."

by third person, do you mean aware of yourself and what you are doing?

because i think that i too am liek that. because i am always in control and completely aware of what i am doing. and i always think it out as far as i can. and i always do it on MY will...
im confused as to wht you mean..
clarify??

"Wht cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."

I believe everyone can be like this but at different points in there life.
Yeah for me I think that I was always in need of control or atleast understanding completely of where I am in my relationship or it was not worth my time.
Once it was worth my time and I knew where my heart lay I lost control and she played my ass.
I became obessive and paranoid to the extreme.
But I am sooo over that and the control issue. Thinking back I was beyond immature and naive of who I was and what I really needed in a relationship.

As for the actual topic though...

After I went through my "teenage stage" (as I call it) of life with girls and drama blah blah I realized something important.

If you really do love her, you will want for her to be happy more so than yourself.
That being said, if she is really happier with another person let her go and you get your ass out of there.
If you stay you will probably experience the worst pain ever.
But everyone is different and some people can handle that kind of shit, but I can't and thats for sure.

"Anything is Possible when you think illogically."

zato, thats what i'm doing... but stilll when you do that it's not all fun and games.

and decius, you are right... i was "I N S A N E" for two days, one of them being yesterday... but then i(my third person) said, "what are you doing? you love her? let her go. be the happy kid everyone knows, everyone loves... remember this time when blah blah blah"

and i was like "yeah yeah yeah"

and mr. insitefull said "good, then be that kid again"

and now i am =) ¶:¤]

By the way, i did learn a lesson too decius, all joy comes from pain.

Im glad.

"Anything is Possible when you think illogically."

Don't be pissed when it comes back. You're in the "instability" phase right now where you will think the world is beautiful beyond measure for a good ten minutes and then without any reason at all... suddenly... everything will crumble.

Withstand the crumbling.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

how?

it seems i have been this way for a long time.

"Wht cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."
[  Edited by awakendwraith at   ]

realize there is a future awakened... we're only 16 + 17... many more to go, and even still decius is only 26, wiser, but still a youngin