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Need to help friend with downward spiral

User Thread
 33yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that mindfields19 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Need to help friend with downward spiral
I am going to have to be very vague in this post for obvious reasons. I have a friend who's illegal habits have sent him spiralling downhill for quite some time. He has been to rehab, but it hasn't helped. He still uses, deals, and has been known to disappear for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. Mentally he is unstable. His anger is triggered by almost anything and he owns a gun; of course, this is not a good combination at all. I think that much of his anger is a result from what he has done to himself physically.

When he came back from rehab two months ago, a lot of people thought he was going to change, but the experience obviously didn't help him much. He recently tested positive for some particularly addictive illegal substances, and before anyone knew it he disappeared again.

This guy is not a lost cause, despite what a lot of people think of him. I am worried about what his current state of mind is and if he will forever be altered by his constant drug use.

If anyone with this kind of experience can tell me what I can do to get him to realize that he still has a chance, please tell me. At this point, shipping him off to rehab against his will (he is under 18 and still lives with his parents) is only going to make him worse. I want him to see that a sober future is a good thing. Maybe then will he be able to go into a rehab program with enough willingness to drop a lifestyle that could leave him in jail or dead.

Any advice?

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"In the beginning, night was memory was water, and in the cool aquamarine depths dreams swam freely."
[  Edited by unknown1 at   ]
 33yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Jacker_Jones is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
My advice is going to seem odd. Every minute spent in the crime world is one of pure enjoyment and excitement. That's not saying that one spent living in the legitimate world can't be one either. The eyes of your friend needs to be opened to that. Show your friend that life can be enjoyed on both sides but the legitimate side is safer for obvious reasons. Do this discreetly he probably thinks the world is against him right now and wouldn't appreciate the feeling of you against him also.

Drug addiction is dangerous business but I suspect from the evidence given(age, gender, lifestyle, description) that it's meth. If I am correct this can really alter personality and can make them do something they wouldn't normally do.

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"I love to see people struggling for their purpose in life..."
[  Edited by Jacker_Jones at   ]
 33yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that mindfields19 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
He is not addicted to meth, but I know people who have gotten into some big trouble with that stuff. This guy is just seriously testing his limits, and he is scaring his family.

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"In the beginning, night was memory was water, and in the cool aquamarine depths dreams swam freely."
 43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that tommybc98 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
If an addictive drug is involved, you probably will be, if you are not already, at risk (violence). I strongly believe that you should, if you intend to really help this person, enlist the help of a few friends that know where you are at all times, and maybe even go with you if you talk to him. I would also familiarize yourself with someone in a professional field (drug counselor, social worker, etc.) and have their phone number available to call at any time. The reason for this, is that your friend is probably too unpredictable to listen to the reasoning of a single person (even you), and you may need to have the advice and support of people on the spur of the moment.

It is good that your friend has someone that cares about him - You just have to be smart about it and take the situation seriously.

Something you can suggest to your friend is for him to spend as much time as possible in groups of positive people that you know are not into the drug scene. This will help take a little of the edge off of the addiction at the moment.

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"Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time"
 33yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that mindfields19 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I have an update on this situation and I really need some help.

As I wrote before, my friend has been in and out of rehab for the past year. For a while recently, we all HONESTLY assumed he was moving forward. Around three and a half weeks ago he failed another drug test, and his parents checked him into the most intensive recovery center in our area. After less than 5 days, he was gone. The same day, 1200 dollars went missing from his sister's apartment along with her car. He has been missing for 21 days - the longest he has gone without making contact with anyone or coming home.

I am really at a loss. When he is sober he talks about his dreams and future. He has even talked about going to college (he was held back his senior year). So far, he hasn't made contact with anyone including his girlfriend of two years. His family has tried everything to help him, and now he has gone missing once again. His parents are severely depressed and they have begun to blame one and other.

My question is this: How long can someone last one 1200 dollars, including gas money, food, a place to stay? Not to forget the expensive drug that he is addicted to. My prediction was around 3 weeks, and it has reached that point.

Also, does anyone know about any alternative rehab clinics that utilize a different type of recovery method? I know for a fact that the rehabs he has attended have been the kind that keep you in a prison-like situation. I personally feel that taking everything away is not an excellent system. The bleakness would have scared me away too.

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"In the beginning, night was memory was water, and in the cool aquamarine depths dreams swam freely."
 33yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Jacker_Jones is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
1200 dollars 3 weeks? Depends on how he manages his money. If he's dealing he could stretch that to 3 months. Buy in large quantities and sell in small. For instance you buy a six pack of pop for $4.00. Sell each can individually for a dollar. Plus you can always drink a pop. Same thing for drugs.

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"I love to see people struggling for their purpose in life..."
 33yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that mindfields19 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
On Day 30 -

He called his parents and came home. I am not sure what is going to happen next... we are just all glad he is alive, and home.

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"In the beginning, night was memory was water, and in the cool aquamarine depths dreams swam freely."
Need to help friend with downward spiral
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