Is attachment weakness?

Yet...

All the distractions we surround ourselves with... be it songs or movies or stories... they are the object of admiration of people who have achieved true love in the face of great perils and defeats.

So perhaps true strength is accepting the possibility of such pain without losing the debth in which one can love.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

decius.... that is exactly what i've been trying to tell you. one of the qoutse on this sight is a wise man knows his ignorance. or to that effect. and a strong person knows they are weak. and whats wrong with being weak. think about it. how many people have you loved that weren't weak in some way. and for the record, i have an almost, at least i think almost, complete understanding of love.

"Wht cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."

Decius.......i agree with your last statement, not that it's true strength, but that we shouldn't let our fear of pain stand in the way of our freedom to love, i'll be the first in line to say what better way to spend your love, time, energy, and life giving it to the one you love, however don't let your mind give you the illusion of rationality to benefit what your heart wants to hear. for reasons previously mentioned, this attachment is a weakness. not to say we shouldn't go through with loving. it is countered with we aren't perfect, so love is our desire and we should follow through with it, or maybe to possess this weakness makes us more perfect than we think. whatever it might be i accept the fact that i love my wife to the ends of the ever expanding universe, and if this weakness should one day forsaken me ... so be it.

"\WHEN YOU CANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGS THE THINGS YOU LOOK AT CHANGE"

To be honest I also think it has to do how you define "Strength". If someone who can survive on his own is a show that you are indeed "strong" then having to depend on another is a weaknes.

But I think also we must se to why we do "love". Feel atached to a person. I do nott thing it is a weaknes. It is a way to ensure survival of ones genes.

Love to me is a Genetic device that has grown in to our species. It just happen to be that those that stayd with one partner had children that survived in a mush larger extent then those who didnt.

So to me to love some one, to have some one is not a weaknes. But a strenght in pure genetics.

But this is ofcourse on a factual basis. How one does define it on a personal basis is somwhat harder. As it still comes down to how we define "strenght".

often times in relationships people develope a great fear of loss, but it is only after this fear is abolished that one can experience true love.

the capacity to love on such a deep level that the concept of a forthcoming loss is merely a part of the process of love is how a person gains strength instead of weakness from such bonds.

"I am Akba-Atatdia"

I agree with above post.

i really gotta work on gettin the words out... i agree with him

"Wht cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."

The way I see it is thus;

Imagine time when you are with someone you love. The clock seems to move so fast yet your internal reference of time seems to move so slowly.

If time is realtive then certain reference frames of the phsyical have more influence thatn others, and so depending upon your mindset towards the most dominant references of the collective environement your mind allows you to be in, you either sense things more coldly (slowly) or more warmly (fast).

To have unconditioanl love is to know no time, jus change. Leonardo Da Vinci once said 'friendship isone soul sharing two bodies' Real love is to have such empathy with everything that you are one soul sharing all bodies.

Thus, I believe the more attachment you have, generally, though not specifically, the more you become more 'wholly'.

On a slightly different tone, we are human, we need to procreate. I think the phrase is 'don't jump before you can walk'.

""No words""

and in going along with this concept, when a loss occurs your love does not stop but you do sense a change.

"I am Akba-Atatdia"

wich is why you feel weak when you lose something you love? is that what we "sense"? is that why we get angry? becuase we are scared of change. maybe thats why some people tend to care less than others. they are more open to change, or perhaps they are less open, so it never happens. maybe thats one of the places we get our ego's. or is the question itself enough to make decius think he's "weak". or thinks so much, he feels the affects of losing someone with out even doing it. i do that sometimes. so maybe the needing part isn't why he feels weak, its the change after he's done. or they are done. someone help me with this.

"Wht cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."

The effect must be seperated from the cause. This is the problem; the effect of ignorance can be as powerful as the effect from deep understanding. But those who rest on a sea of lies will drown quickly enough when the tides get a little rough.

We are only human. And there are many humans who are all thinking differently. But, your quality of life is proportional to how much uncertainty you can accept. Thats your lifeline here. And the message: let truth set you free.

""No words""

so decius is either really smart or really stupid.

"Wht cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."

hmmm...there are four steps to learning:

1. Unconconcious incompetence
2. Concious incompetence
3. Concious competence
4. Unconcious competence

Its always going to be tough until you are firmly in the fourth stage-even then the risk of contempt runs on.

""No words""

thats hardly an answer.

"Wht cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."

I think now a days that people do look down upon showing emotion such as a loss of a loved one..like we're all supposed to be some tough guy all the time. When someone you really love and have bonded with has been stripped from you naturally or for what ever reason it strikes very harsh emotions, you can't help it. no matter who you are if you really loved that person you would feel like everything just ended and there is this big gap in your life.. because everything that you once shared can no longer be. all you have are the memories. What matters most is that your loved one wouldn't want to see you in that condition and would much rather want you to be as strong as possible knowning that you could never see eachother physically again. I think you should Accept but never forget.

"I'm a human being, God Dammit!! My life has value!!!"