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help me

User Thread
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that spiderz is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
help me
i hate life, religion
i jus wanna fly

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"There is a thin line between bravery and stupidity"
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Ana Rpo is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
then, just fly!

(I'm not being cynical, I mean it)

look, if you feel like there's no purpose in life except "flying" then just try to fly and when you finally do it, you can do whatever the hell you want (well, you can do that before achieving your goal, but.. there are some posibilities that I shouldn't really mention, don't wanna give you bad ideas)

JUST FLY!

and don't worry, you can do it

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"In the sea of ilutions and frustations that life is, some swim and some drown"
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that spiderz is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
thankz.

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"There is a thin line between bravery and stupidity"
 16yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that fireflys is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
hey my advice, make life and religion as interesting as possible. i know this sounds extremely corny, but the world is your playground. you wanna fly...then go fly. to make religion interesting go teepee a church. make life interesting, laugh at everything. have fun!

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"Don't sweat the petty things, don't pet the sweaty things."
 30yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that zachf is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
you are the only person i've ever seen who just wants to fly to i mean like really if i could fly i could do so much like go places fast and mirgrate and do cool flips and stuff i want wings or somthing. If i ever get wings i'll tell you how it goes

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"Whether we wake or we sleep, Whether we carol or weep, The Sun with his Planets in chime, Marketh the going of Time. -Edward Fitzgerald"
 32yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that fireangel is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
First of all being tired of life and being tired with religion...that's entirely normal. I don't think I know a single person who hasn't been tired of one or the other, if not both. Everyones biggest goal in life is to fly in their own way. You can fly any time you want to. Metaphorically speaking of course but the idea i'm trying to get across is that you already have the tools, you already have the motivation (your fatigue with life) all you have to do is act upon it and fix it. I'm sure you are fed up with being tired of life just as much as you are tired. So overpower the feeling of being tired, wake up, stretch your wings, and fly like there's nothing that could ever hold you down.

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 32yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Evol is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Eh, I gave up on grouping myself within a religion
Whatever I believe is whatever I believe
If people wana try to group me, go on ahead, but good luck.
I have believs in things a suppose you can say, but I am no spacific religion.
I'm pretty sure you're in about the same mind frame right now.
And life, eh, it's life, no one ever promissed perfection
At least you learn that way instead of being a blind child dispite everything.

So basicly if you want to fly, do it.
I know it's hard, but when you get past a certain point you'll feel like you can.
To look apon people and things seem clearer, to be able to not let things shoot you down.

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"I am contradiction"
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that her is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
OKAY, many people know by know that her and spiderz are the same people, ive been asked not to do this, but its done now. So when i say fly, i mean physiaclly, just to move. i want to move away, some where, where the minuite i speak of my religious beliefs i am not seen a cripled poor sod whos going to burn. so yeah. im going to fly, im about to enter into a rollar coaster ride. You can all be part of it. Its over. Religions are invented. ive reached my conclusion after nearly6 years ofreading, and pondering, and thinking, thinking, wondering, assessing questioning, some more reading, what more can i bloody do, i wrote the original message in 2005, i was confused. now. im nearing certainity. if that is ever possible. so i say nearing. so i feel physically sick. sick i tell you. every time i say and admit this i feel sick. Because its going to cause havoc and hell. shaytaans going to be having a party 2nyt.

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"I have nothing to be proud of today but hopefully tomorrow I will."
 39yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I admire your long and genuine search for the truth.

I was brought up in a strongly catholic environment and went to church on Sundays with my grandparents. I feel that when you are bombarded at such a young age with the idea that there is this God up in the clouds and you have to do what youre told or suffer forever, it will never fully leave you.

I was never as religious as you were and I probably haven't had as hard a time as you deciding my theosophical stance.

But I have always had this feeling of somebody just above me, looking down and checking im doing the right thing. It is the worst feeling. And all my life i have fought it.

I am a good person by nature and I feel that IF there is a God, He will love me and accept me for who I am. After all, I am only human. And I have done what I thought was right with the free will He has given me.

I am not a murderer or rapist or criminal. I do my best to treat everyone fairly and I dont make anyone suffer.

So if He is up there, then I hope He sees in my heart that I am a good person. And I hope He accepts my search for the truth about Him over what all these squabbling humans are telling me I should believe about Him.

And if He doesn't exist and its all in my imagination, brought about by years of childhood brainwashing, then I have nothing to fear either.

I think you are a good person too Her. And I can see that even though you feel in your heart that there may not be a God- you cannot fully keep those years of strict dogma about shaytan and hell and the almighty and where you HAVE to fit into this great plan out of your thoughts. Even when denying his existence you feel ill and worry that the devil will take your soul.

This is to be expected when youre brought up from as young as you can remember that its all true.

Its like the media portraying women with large breasts being physically more attractive than women who have small breasts. We grow up with that image forced on us everywhere we go. It is all we know.

But Im sure at some stage small breasts were considered more attractive. Its all about what has been driven into you year after year after year.

Going against what youve been brought up to believe your entire life is never easy at the start. We all want a security blanket and something to believe in.

When youre a child, your parents and other adults are always right and wise and all powerful and protect you and have meaning.

Then you grow up and find that they are as fallible and weak as everyone else. It is a hard thing to accept.

Which is why I believe people try to cling to that feeling of someone above them who has all the answers and will protect them and love them and make everything in this cruel world ok. Just as long as we obey their rules.

Then later on, after much inner searching you may decide that the Gods that these once all powerful adults believed in are not real either.

That can be even more unsettling. The conclusion that the safety we felt as children- that there was someone above us to guide us and look after us and give us a reason to do things- will never ever be felt again.

For those of us who choose to go without the certainty and feeling of safety it can be a long and hard road.

So I wish you peace with whatever you decide to be true.

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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that her is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Thank you chained wings, i can see that you understand me well.

Honestly, told my two best mates, one believes i need therapy, the others so upset she cant talk to me right now. How the hell am i going to tell my family i dont know. maybe ive made a mistake, maybe, maybe, shes saying im confused but i feel pretty dead sure. i know what i think, even ifi dont have the greatest proof on earth, but if anybody did woulnt we all be in the same catogory. i cannot take this any more. im worried sick, scared to admit it, its a bit like a homosexual person telling his homophobic parents. maybe, mines is pretty bad. so im going to wait till after the january exams, then im going to tell them.

I guess eighteen years of this has kinda left its mark, totally, and competely. so i am scared that ive been given over to the devil, allah;s let me go, because off all the questioning, maybe im going to deserve the punishment. if it takes place tht is.

no man. fate and free will just dont make sense.

I Fell free now. free. within my mind, but then i feel trapped by everything else. Anybody got anything to make me feel better, any similar experiances.

HONESTLY, my mate was like, babe, ure confused.

i said, no im pretty sure
friend: no man youve aleways been confused

i said: um well im sure now.

friend,:the devils got hold of you, dont be so stupid.

i said:sigh.

SIgh.

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"I have nothing to be proud of today but hopefully tomorrow I will."
 32yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that ChrisD is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
My one friend is a mechanic. He's a mechanic's son and he's been a mechanic all his life. If I told him "Hey man, I just figured out you don't need a spark plug to get a car to run." he'd probably say something like "Well then go ahead and take it out. Good luck getting that car to start."

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"The truth will set you on fire"
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that her is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I know, they just arent willing to accept that there might be something else. Man i guess you are right, truth is simple, but the proving part is hard. i dont want to prove its the truth, well i dont everyone to just start following me, i just hate the fact that they wont even consider my views. she listened to half my story and said I am confused.

But what i think you meant was that it will be hard for them to accept anything else because they were raised that way, raised to believe certian things, embedded since they were children. Its like telling the who world, hey, the world's not roundish, its a perfect square.

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"I have nothing to be proud of today but hopefully tomorrow I will."
 37yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Hey Spiderz/her,

You don't need to prove anything to anyone except yourself. Very often others don't want you to think for yourself and seem to feel threatened when you do. If they truly care about you, they will love you regardless.

The life of a free thinker can be a tough and lonely journey at times, but I believe there is a much more enriching life available to those who carve and create their own path.

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that her is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Thanks wyote, i guess im just going to have to accept what i believe, and take all the consequences, they did this to people throughout histroy, always kickin the weirdo in the butt.

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"I have nothing to be proud of today but hopefully tomorrow I will."
 33yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Attolia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
From what I'm hearing, it's not that you want to be free from your religion but free from your doubts. So even if you "leave" your religion, you're not going to be satisfied, as you said when you felt free but still felt something wrong inside.

Moreover, when it comes to major world religions, there are different sects with different opinions. It might help to get a broader view from them to help clear your doubts or confusion.

Since your religion has been so much a part of your life, you need to come to terms with it or it will continue to bother you. Making a"good things/bad things about my religion" chart helps you appreciate the positive values, so you're not in a stage of complete hatred against the teachings you were raised by. Listing what specifically bothers you helps you understand your problems down. The fact that your religion seems to be exclusive and isolationist is one for the bad side.

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"How can we be just in a world without mercy and merciful in a world without justice?"
help me
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