What do I do...?

What do I do...? [+ favourites]

Im just going to get straight to the point....I had a girlfriend, I loved her, more than anything in the world, I would of done anything for this girl, I treated her like a princess...I never did her wrong, I loved her. Unconditionally. She cheated on me. WIth a "friend" of mine. I put friend in quotations, because obviously, he is not. SHe says she is sorry, she says she still loves me. But her actions dont show it. I dont know what to do, I loved this girl so much, and it is ripping my heart out to think about it, to think of not having her by my side. Im asking your guys' opinions. Of course I know what my brian is telling me, "Screw her, she cheated on you, she cant even keep her legs closed for you, leave her in the dust, she deserves it:" But thats not what my heart is telling me....and it hurts so bad but my heart is over powering my brain. And Im terrified to give her another chance, because deep in the back of my head I know this will happen again. She never loved me, but she said she did, and still does. If she loved me she wouldnt of done this. ERrrrrr what do I do? Guys and girls opinions would be much appreciated, thanks everyone.

"Aint flashed a smile in a long while...."

Words are just a state of lie, i can go up to any random girl and tell her "I Love You" and they take it very personally. Your girlfriend has probably taken the same ability to lie. If you really love her, you got to show it, not say it. Show her the world on how you see it. But if she dos'nt get it, then there is no point staying with her. Trust me, i read some of the posts you placed on this site, there really quite deep. So its really up to you, show her how much you love her, or show her how much you hate her.

"I'm just another person in this place, which is why its my advantage."

I know what you mean, and I guess I didn't elaborate enough in my first post, but I did show her how much I loved her. I gave her every part of me, I am an artist at times, I drew her pictures that took days, I bought her flowers all the time, I never called her names, I dont know where I went wrong. I've tried to show her how much I love her, even after the fact. But I guess you are right...I've put time in, I've tried, but she just keeps doing things to hurt me. I guess thats something I didnt mention in the first post. Even after it happened, I was willing to give her a second chance, because I loved her so much, but she just pretty much treats me like an "accessory" or something. Im there when she wants me to be, but if she is busy, she just is like "fuck off". Ahhh and it hurts so bad. But I guess, that I've tried to show her how much I love her, and she has thrown it back in my face. So I guess it is time to show her how much I hate her for what she has done to me....

"Aint flashed a smile in a long while...."

Is she a wild person? This might sound crazy but she might be looking for someone to exchange fists with, she wants a good argument. Your probably going too soft with her, shes getting board with you and looking for something else with more, action. I might seem young but, I know what your talking about. She wants you to be more aggressive. Tell her off a couple of times, make HER seem like shes done something wrong.

"I'm just another person in this place, which is why its my advantage."

You... you really think I got a good idea bout women? Holy shit. This might sound craaaaazy but i never had a girlfriend in my life, well i never accepted one

"I'm just another person in this place, which is why its my advantage."

Now that I think about it, she is pretty wild. She is a very opinionated girl, she likes to think that she can be very independant, and that she doesnt need anyone. She has been through a lot of problems with her mom, her mom used to beat her and verbally abuse her, badly. I witnessed the verbal abuse a couple of times, and it was bad. At one time when her mom almost started swinging at her I had to get up and pretty much tell her mom to fuck off. And if I would stand up for her to her own mom, thats pretty risky. But I do know what you mean, I've tried to make her feel like she has done something wrong, so many times, I've told her time and time again when I get mad that im not going to ever talk to her again, but I always end up talking to her again. I cant help it. But yesterday, I really went off on her, she triggered it and went to far. Im not a mean person, at all, I am a very understanding and fun guy, and part of that is because I went to counseling (sp?) until I was about 16 for emotional bi-polar disorder. When I get sad, I get very deeply hurt, and depressed, and when I get mad, shit gets broken. Only a few times have I been mad since counseling, and yesterday was one of those times. Dont get me wrong, not like I hit her or anything, but I yelled. And yelled. And yelled. And I havnt talked to her since. Of course it was only yesterday, but it feels like an eternity. Im scared that she hates me now, but I feel stupid for feeling that way, because she is the one that hurt me so badly, when I did nothing to deserve it. Like why should I care if she hates me? I should be the one that hates her. But I dont.

"Aint flashed a smile in a long while...."

If she really loves you, she will call you and say sorry, if she was playing with you she will wait till you call and YOU say sorry to her. So it was kinda of a good thing that you did yell at her, so you can learn the truth. Just wait and it will take time. Either, shes probably waiting for your call right now, waiting for you to say sorry. Thats what she wants, she wants to be the more powerful person, she wants to show how weak you are, or she would call back and say sorry herself. If you want her to love you, you would have to wait.

"I'm just another person in this place, which is why its my advantage."

Yeah...I know thats what I need to do, but its soooooo hard lol. I want to call her so bad and try and make things better, because all I want is her....but I know things will never go back to the way they were, and I know that it will never be the same, even if we did get back together. I know I need to wait for her to call me/talk to me, if she ever does, but damn, its hard. I've tried to do that many a times, but I always call her. But this time is different, I need to ball up....and find out the truth like you said. Part of it I guess is that Im afraid she wont call me back...and thats what Im really scared of...but I guess I really do need to find out, like you said. Its now or never....

"Aint flashed a smile in a long while...."

Tru Things Otter, if she had family problems, its better if she takes care of them now, because ive seen this happen. This guy that new this guy was getting beat by his dad because he was taking his car out for joy rides, and he never got help, now hes a drug addict. So if you want her, just wait till she calls. If its takes weeks for her to call, and you really want to be with her, call and talk about it. And if you guys get back together, you should get help for her right away. But, if she tells you off, this might be hard, care less about her and get on with her life. Forget that she was ever in your life and find a new and better women.

"I'm just another person in this place, which is why its my advantage."

Even If i did recommned professional help, theres no way she would take it. No way at all. But I guess you're right, all I can do is wait....let things work themselves out I guess. Errrr this sucks. You are young rapta, yet you give me better advice then most of my friends do. Its hard to talk to my friends, because they just want what is best for me and I cant blame them, they tell me to "fuckin leave her ass, she cheated on you man". But its a lot easier said then done, especially when I felt the way I did about her. But I got no choice, this is it, its either wait her out, or call her like I do every other time. And im sick of being the one pursuing the relationship, when Im the one that should of kicked her to the curb, I dont want to sound cocky, but she should of been thankful i gave her another chance. Thats over now though...its all in her hands....its just a waiting game now....-_-

"Aint flashed a smile in a long while...."

bottom line: if she doesnt make the first move, you are simply being used. it hurts like hell to even think a person could do it to you, especially a person you care so incredibly deeply for. but no one deserves that kind of pain, she put something on you so big, so destructive. if she doesnt do everything within her power to rectify things, she just doesnt give a shit. so ask yourself, "do i want to be with a person who doesnt truly care about me?" .... my answer is a big no.

"I am Akba-Atatdia"

I know...thats exactly what I have been thinking...and you're right. Im right. I know that she isnt going to try and get me back, and thats what I hate the most. How she could say she does, bring me up so high, then drop me to the concrete. UHhh its so bad, worst feeling ever. Shes not going to call back, or talk to me again, and it sucks. Just plain old sucks. But I have no choice but to ball up and not talk to her either, I have to show her I have the strength to leave her too....Ahhh....why me?

"Aint flashed a smile in a long while...."

You need to show her your not just another person Joel, call her and tell her you want back all of your stuff or something. YOU dont deserve this kind of treatment, no one does. If a person like her can do something like that and pretend she loves you, then there is no point staying with you. If you keep walking as her shadow, youll be miserable for the rest of your life. I know that alot of people say this, but youll get over her. Find another women, someone that would care for you, someone that can love you, someone to cherish you. If you still care about her, just remember all the shit she put you through.

"I'm just another person in this place, which is why its my advantage."

Yea, I got all my stuff back from her yesterday. Gave all hers back too. So I guess this is really it. Im going to miss her, even though she put me through hell. I still lover her, and I dont know why. I should hate her, hate her with a passion. A quote from mother tereasa comes to mind..."I have finally found the paradox between love and hurt, If I love to the point that hurts, there is no hurt, only more love". But yeah. Life goes on. I've told myself this so many times. Im 18, there is so much more out there. But this one....this girl....Ill never forget her. I thought she was the one. Thought she was a keeper.

"Aint flashed a smile in a long while...."

joel...it seems that you have already made you decision not to give her another chance...wich could very well be the best thing...but...i have to say that i cheated on my current boyfriend with an ex...it was wrong,he found out,it was hell for a while,but we stayed together,i was confused and fucked up....i was and still am genuinly sorry for it,anyway...a year and a half later,we're still together,our relationship is better than ever,we're talking about starting a family,and we are very happy together....just something to think about

"we are the music makers, and we, are the dreamers of dreams"