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Flatulence when is it OK?

User Thread
 43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that I R Me is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Flatulence when is it OK?
I was a t wok today and I had to blast off a couple of times- what do all of you think of that?
As in is it socially acceptable to cut one if you really have to? Is it better to "bare the shame than to batre the pain?"
What is a man to do?

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"No one ever won a war by sitting in a ditch"
 30yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
if you really absolutely must do it in public, try to at least let it out as slowly and quietly as possible. and if you are able, move about so as to disperse the fumes as much as possible

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that I R Me is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
You know it usually not a problem but the night before I had some chips and dip and well you the sorty I am sure....
So but what your saying is that it is not socially acceptable so we must fart covertly?

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"No one ever won a war by sitting in a ditch"
 30yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
yes, that would seem to be the moral thing to do...IMO

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that I R Me is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
So then is it safe to say that you feel farting in public is immoral?

(what does IMO mean? )

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"No one ever won a war by sitting in a ditch"
 30yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
yes, In My Opinion

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 44yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Evilia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Hmmmm when is it o.k.?? I think farts are funnier than SHIT. BUT.....we need to have that type of "relationship" first if you know what i'm saying.

Here are some of my thoughts of flatuation: (that's how you spell it right??)

Let me hear the toot.... you should smell it before I... so when I see that look on your face, I shall run.

Please don't fart when i'm eating. The smell of death & rotton eggs while I am eating will REALLY ruin my appetite. (and piss me off)

Don't fart in bed and then pull the covers over my head. (We shall fight the rest of the night) Kindly get up.... bend your ass in my bathroom, let it go... (it shall echo if it's a big one), then turn on my fan and spray while we laugh our asses off.

If you just asked me to dance.....don't fart please. What's this with guys and doing the "dance fart?"

If you are running past me.... feel free to fart with every step... running farts are the funniest. (and tend to leave quickly in the wind)

Do NOT fart if someone (mainly me, hehehe) is walking in back of you. The smell shall leave a trail, like a tail. I shall embarrass you my stating in a quite loud voice " OMG WHAT is that nasty smell???" "Someone needs to change their pants or something!"

Feel free to fart in the pool. Tell me first so we can laugh at the bubbles.

Do NOT fart while we are taking a bath together..... when the bubble gets to the top it tends to pop, therefore releasing a nasty ass wet shit smell. Us in the tub is romantic... why ruin it?

Feel free to fart in my car or truck. DO lift your ass first please and tell me so we can open the windows. EXPECIALLY lift your ass in my car. I turned on the seat heater in my car.... only to smell a nasty ass smell. My x farted obvously in the seat, and it lingered in the leather. The heat made some type of chemical reaction... therefore in a wierd type of way...... stained the seat of stank. BARF.

If you would like to light a fart in my presence PLEASE DO SO!!! I have yet to see what I hear is like an explosion. Like the spraying of hairspray on a flame. I'd do it myself.... but I have heard war stories about actually burning the ass area. (you can do it with clothes on right?)

Ummmmmm if you like a girl, do not fart in front of her unless you have discussed farting already, and know of her views. I have seen many a guy shot down due to fartage without discussion.


Just some random thoughts.

Take it or leave it....



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"Spellcheck is for pussies. REAL women make mistakes."
 36yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ironwood is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Yes you can light them with clothes on, the worst thing I've heard of having to worry about is not burning your ass or genitals but actually lighting gasses up your colon and intestines, thats bad news, but I've never seen or really heard of that actually happening, I've been privy to many of my uncle's firey fart fests, and have lit my own, but once I heard of the internal flame I lost all courage.

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"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"
 53yrs • M •
RIGHTEOUS is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
FLATULENCE IS GODS RIGHTEOUS JUDGEMENT UPON YOU ALL FOR YOUR ABOMINABLE ACTS OF SODOMY. NOW YOU MUST SMELL THE SICKENING STENCH OF YOUR SIN. REPENT THAT YOU MAY BE SPARED FROM ETERNAL DAMNATION!

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"Righteous indignation cleanses the soul."
 26yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that awakendwraith is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
LOL

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"Why cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."
 53yrs • M •
Blaster Bates is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Just do what I do.

1. Move slowly towards the exit of the area in which you are.

2. Sneak it out
( without following through )

3. If you are at home either blame the kids, dog or cat.

4. If you are at home DO NOT blame the missus as frying pans on your head hurt BIGTIME!

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 54yrs • F
A CTL of 1 means that sunonleaves is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
according to my boyfriend, it is always ok and sometimes better than ok.
he feels that the best place is in an elevator, but an aisle at walmart is a close second.
he loves his farts, and wants to write a cookbook/menu and party planner devoted to creating the most enjoyable flatulence for any occasion.

yes, i have to live with this. i am pretty much numb to it all.

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 28yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Inata is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
@sunonleaves: Sounds like a lovable guy.
My hubby and me have been ove the farting part, well where its still embarassing, for a long time and now just start laughing when it comes in the most untimely way. Its usually a really romantic moment destroyed by a fart which actually makes it hilarious again.

At work I try to make them as silent as possible. Its probably got something to do with not wanting to attract unwanted attention.

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"“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland"
 54yrs • F
A CTL of 1 means that sunonleaves is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
lol @ Inata
yes he is a keeper in spite of the methane, if i could harness it well that would be something then wouldn't it?

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 32yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that StraightFace is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
the dispersing- i have heard it referred to as 'crop-dusting'
The problem with this is one of my friends is really tall and broad (ex-wrestler) and so as he walks the aerodynamics creates a vacuum and the stink literally follows him. the worst kinds are the ones that smell like rotten fruit

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Flatulence when is it OK?
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