6 foot a$$hole

Subject: This is a stretch

While I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e., 10 mph over the speed limit,) I passed under a bridge only to find a policeman with a radar gun on the other side laying in wait.

He pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?".

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the policeman, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The policeman stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."


Traffic Ticket: $95.00

Court Costs: $45.00

The look on his face: PRICELESS

Em

Your kidding me right Em, you dont have the balls to do that.

I think its just a story!


LOL

You're half right there firebird. It's not that I wouldn't have the guts to do it or something like that, more like I'd be so pissed that I wouldn't even think of it. However if I were to think of it I'd be more than happy to say it to our cops around here!

This was a joke I picked up the other day and thought I'd share.

Em

I GOT ONE
A DUDE WAS STOPED BY THE COPS AND.......
THE COP ASKED FOR HIS LICENSE
THE DUDE: DONT HAVE ONE
THE COP: WHY NOT?
THE DUDE: I HAVE WARRENTS
THE COP: O YEA
THE DUDE: YEA I ALSO STOLD THIS CAR AND KILLED THE OWNER AND SHES IN THE TRUNK!
SO THE COP ASKED FOR BACK UP WHEN BACK UP ARRIVED HE WENT TO THE DUDE AND SAID OPEN THE TRUNK THE DUDE DID IT WAS EMPTY. THE COP SAID DO YOU HAVE A DL? THE DUDE SAID SURE WHY DO YOU ASK? THE BACK UP COP SAID WELL THE FIRST COP SAID YOU STOLD THIS CAR AND KILLED THE OWNER AND PUT HER IN THE TRUNK! THE DUDE REPLIED YEA AND I BET THAT ASSHOLE COP SAID I WAS SPEEDING ALSO.... LATER