Thoughts, anyone?

Thoughts, anyone? [+ favourites]

I had what I think is an ephinany, the other day.

I was thinking about about a saying, namely, "...it doesnt matter what other people think." I got to thinking, and now I wonder this:

In not caring what people think about us, do we eventually stop caring about people all together.

What are your thoughts on this?

"Im not predujiced, I hate everyone equally -WC Fields"

Hey Deadpool,

Let me commend you firstly on wording a question and posing one that is probably the best question I have ever seen on these boards.

I'm been racking my brain trying to come up with an answer that will do justice to it.

In my experience, the only way I have been unable to care what people think of me is to care less about their feelings. I found a lot of my shyness and self-criticism came from worrying whether I would offend or make someone else feel uncomfortable.

Slowly, as I remove those concerns and prioritize my own desires I find I am able to do things I never used to in the past... but I KNOW I care less about people. Not just people, but my friends and my family.

But the odd result is that as I've started to focus on my own desires people have started to respect me more and possibly even like me more. I have discovered that in prioritizing a lot of other people's wants and desires I have actually given them the ability to use or abuse me, and in a different light it becomes so apparent that the relationship is one sided.

My view, as with almost any psychological change for the better in anyone's life, is that you go through a phase where you exploit a good new feeling intensely, but eventually mellow it down to a normal level.

So when you first start breaking out of your shell and become outspoken or confident and don't care about other's thoughts about you, you will also cease to be as sensitive as you once were. At first you will be very very confident and very very insensitive, but will eventually tone it down to where you're not actually trying to be confident and it becomes a natural part of your psyche.

That is what has happened to me in every new strength I have assimilated into me.

So the answer to your question is that yes, in the short run you will actually become less sensitive... but in the long run you will probably just have the ability to do what you feel like while still taking care not to hurt others.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

I agree with Decius that when a new behavior is taken on, you go to the extreme and then come back to the middle. I know for me I have become strong in that I won't let anyone take advantage of me. I also spot games people play and I am able to extricate myself from the game psychologically speaking. But I think it is human nature to want to be liked and when someone, for no apparent reason, ignores you or pays you a hurtful remark, it can't help but be painful. It's how you process that pain whether you come out on top or not. None of us are saints. I guess that's why we have to be careful what we say so as not to hurt someone unintentionally. Our words are powerful; they can break a heart, or they can heal a broken heart.

i have to admit, that my experience of learning to discard what others think is very similar to that of Decius's. Although i'm one of those people who is soft altogether, and i can't stay tough for long. Although when i go through the phase of thinking about me and doing what i want, i agree, i do tend to care less about others in general, let alone their opinions. I just thnik its a way that we deal with situations. If we want to make something right in our own conscience or mind, then we have to have a valid excuse in our mind of why we shouldn't listen to others, and that comes with not caring about them at all.

"my name says it all!"

"In not caring what people think about us, do we eventually stop caring about people all together."
Short answer: No.
Long answer: We do not need to care what people think about us to care about them. take this possibly flawed example (it is late): You love your mother because she takes care of you. She may hate you for ruining her life; eg. 16 year old mother or some such social blunder, yet you don't have to care that she hates you. You still love her because she cares for you.
Having a complete lack of empathy seems to make me care less for people in general, not the fact that i don't give a stuff what they think of me. That would be apathy.