Cry for Help!

Cry for Help! [+ favourites]

Decius, if I am out of line here just let me know. This is the advice section so help me out people.

First off being that I have made quite a few acquaintences and friends are here I would like to come clean on my other ID's. Lynnie is also, peachy. The ID Gipher is a group of girls that I use to work with, and yes I have had some fun posting on that ID also. This was not done in good faith and I would like to apologize.


Second, this will be the biggest and most personal advice seeking thread I will have ever posted.

I have recently found out that my spouse has cheated on me, twice and it is with someone that you all know. Several of you have made comments to me about the 2 of them, and it finally came out last Monday. I would like to know what your thoughts are on someone that would do such a thing to the person they tell they love, with their heart and soul. I have done my own soul searching, and my mind and heart tell me completely different things. I love this man completely, I thought he was the one man that would never cheat on me and never lie to me. Guess, I was wrong. This has taken a turn with our family, and caused grief and hate for the other person involved. Our children are very much like me and out for revenge. How do you try to make them understand that mistakes are born, or should I say happen? How do you even begin to rebuild a marriage based on a year of lies? How do you ever trust? I don't know how to except this in my life, but know that I can not live without him, nor would I give him up for a mistake to have.

Kinda personal, and that isn't me by far, but I need some additional help with this one. Family is great but people that are NOT involved might have more thoughts.

Thanks,
Lynn

"Enjoy your family as they are our lives."

Hi Lynnie,

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with making multiple accounts. I actually encourage that people do that if they feel more comfortable sharing different parts of their personality in different ways. So don't worry about that.

Secondly, I wrote a lenghty reply but decided to port it into an article because it seemed to be interesting on its own.

Reply to the article here, if you want.

http://www.captaincynic.com/article.php3

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

hi lynnie - hope you don't mind me adding my 2 cents.

i broke up with an ex of mine after hearing about him kissing another girl. granted, i was only 20, but i'm a pretty firm believer in cheating reflecting someone's true nature. and the thought of my boyfriend being able to enjoy kissing another girl was definitely something i didn't want to spend the rest of my life with.

as far as your kids go (your mention of trust and revenge), i have found that kids tend to follow their parents example. they will look to you for appropriate behavior and responses. i know that's what i did when my parents got divorced (i was 12) and have found it extremely positive that they were very civil to each other and didn't argue in front of us kids.

no matter what you decide, you have some hard times ahead of you. i wish you all the strength and support you need. good luck.

"get busy livin' or get busy dyin'..."

You say he cheated twice. I'm curious to know just how clean he has come with you bout the affair. I'm also curious as to how many more lies will be told.



BTW, don't worry the time that I would have taken him no matter what is passed. HE WILL NEVER DO TO ME WHAT HE HAS DONE AGAIN!!!! (that lil bit was for him)

""Live life to the fullest!""

Lynnie:

Did you get the answers you were looking for? Or was the post mainly a means to vent?

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

Decius,

Your article was of much help. I wasn't venting though, I was asking for help and what others may have thought. I wasn't asking for someone to tell a story. However, I guess that is what you get when you post a thread.

And on that note, things are great at home and working through this. Atleast it wasn't something where there were actually feelings involved, it happened to have just been a FUCK, up. Thanks to you and rollergirl for your comments, and information. Besides, I can't throw my marriage away because of a stupid mistake, and it was in no way a threat of loosing my husband. Our hormones get away from us sometimes and I realize that.

How do you make a whore moan? Don't pay her! LMFAO.

Sorry, thought a joke was appropriate after the last week or so that I have had. But on the flip side, this has made our love and relationship so much better, and stronger. Funny how things that have no meaning can be so enlightening.


Thanks,

Lynnie

"Enjoy your family as they are our lives."

Hi Lynnie,

I am very glad you are working things out.

I am closing this thread.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."