Displaced

I was teenager when my family moved us to Australia from NZ. As time passed and I grew older, I found it baffling that I had never met an Aboriginal person, and that the only Aboriginal people I did see were the ones in downtown Sydney, homeless drunk people who I just saw meandering about the streets. I didn't understand why there was such a stark difference between the population of natives in Australia as compared to NZ.

Recently, while travelling to places in Australia I had never been to before, I saw many, many more Aboriginal people. And I was disturbed for period by what I saw of these people. I felt weighted by my feelings and views of this people who appeared to me as though they were a group, totally unprepared for the modern world. Displaced is indeed the word to describe this. Numerous times in different towns I saw these people, in their groups, just sitting on some patch of grass in circles - reminded me of how they must have lived socially before white settlers came into their picture. I know what you mean Vigil about the man being a shell of a man. I remember seeing a man also, who really got me, because if felt like in him I saw a total loss of hope, emptiness beyond belief. Very traumatizing.

But I couldn't just sit around with these feelings in me. This couldn't be the answer. If this was all there was then yes, it was literally like watching a species as they go into extinction. And I'm a person who holds people responsible for their own souls.

I eventually found it in my heart to see and believe that despite all the horrific things that have occurred to these people, it is in their hands to survive. It is in their hands. Every human on the planet has that in them. Their need to survive. And if you respect that need you will use it to create hope in yourself, and belief that you can survive. Difficult path? Yes, very very difficult. It would be very difficult for them, but if they truly wanted to win over the defeats they have been put through, they have the power to do it. Its called will. And no one can take that away. You can lose hope in it, but that is your choice. I know my beliefs seem hard, stern even, but I think when you look at it hard enough, you see that you can never make another person change, it has to be their self desire to do so, otherwise no matter what, they will always regress and they will always rely on the outside world to make it better for them.

"I know my beliefs seem hard, stern even, but I think when you look at it hard enough, you see that you can never make another person change, it has to be their self desire to do so, otherwise no matter what, they will always regress and they will always rely on the outside world to make it better for them."

I have to keep reminding myself that this is the case, because deep down, I know it is. I guess at the same time, I don't know how to deal with the overwhelming feelings of grief, frustration and horror that I feel when I see them and when I think about them, and other issues like this. And though I can think about this reasoning, and think how it is in their own power to survive, my emotions have another mind of their own anyway. A lot of the time, tears don't seem to be enough. Sometimes the feelings stay after the tears have subsided, and I am left with so much anger and frustration in the end. Maybe I should look into channeling my feelings through another kind of art/medium in some way.

Thank you so much for your words Dawn, I really appreciate it.