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Decius

Ghosts


(218 words)

The Bad Friend in My Head


(2599 words)

When I was a Boy


(1131 words)

Requiem to a Relationship


(438 words)

Goodbyes Enter the New People


(101 words)

Spectacular Souls


(158 words)

Eidolon


(27 words)

No More Deserving Than I


(217 words)

If I Were the World


(172 words)

A Calm Intensity


(130 words)
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No More Deserving Than I

Created by Decius at | [+ favourites]
I come home tonight and ponder thoughts of you.
It seems you're in my head, telling me how I should feel.

That I should feel bad.
That I should feel guilty.

That I have wronged you.
And I feel that perhaps you are right.

But things are not in perspective.
Because I am reliant on you
To free me of this guilt.

I wait on you,
To tell me it is okay.
To show me empathy.
To show me compassion.

For my thoughts, my feelings, my needs.
Are respectable also.
Not just yours
And what you want of me.

Don't you see that I am kind to you?
That I care?
That I treat you as a human, indulging in whatever you want.

You don't want to show that you're vulnerable
Or desire me, or need me, or want me
And you make me feel undesired, unneeded, unwanted.

And when i react to it, as I did tonight
And feel not like intimacy or warmth

You condemn me for it, as if I am a sinner,
As if I am foul, wrong, hurtful.

We all have demons and pain
And all need love and affection.

And your pain is no greater than mine
And you are no more deserving of kindness than I.
Created by Decius at

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My Articles:
Black Hole . The Process . IReturn . Breeze of a Dream . Unexpected Humanity . February 7th, 2010 . Surrender to my World . The Masterless Succubus and her Cuckold . The Midnight Coconut Party . Shit . Ghosts . The Bad Friend in My Head . When I was a Boy . Requiem to a Relationship . Goodbyes Enter the New People . Spectacular Souls . Eidolon . No More Deserving Than I . If I Were the World . A Calm Intensity . Arch Humanity . The Sickness Within . The Failure Within . Surrounded by Idiots . The "What if I'm Right?" Argument . There was Always a sky above me . 'Relinquish' . The Search . Discussion Techniques . The Unapologetic Elimination of Ignorance . Pentagram . The creator . Entity . Amalgam . Are you being Pimped? . Ravings of Cravings . Projected Lore . The Last Leaf . Visions of Love . A Sad Song for your Tears . Fighting the Good Fight . No Answers . Centuries of Noni . Ed Fulcrum . Shadows of Gary . Step Right On . Malice . Doublespeak . Cerebral Discipline . 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