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| <<<>>> |
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Self-Psychosis |
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| Created by Decius at
| [+ favourites]
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Being one of the few people who tries to govern his actions with righteousness and morality, not only towards others but moreso towards myself, I find it confusing and difficult to distinguish between my goals with my vices.
It is the attempts at ascension in body, spirit, and mind that make one such as me vulnerable to outside influences, for if you seek perfection, there are many more ways to make mistakes than if you simply seek mediocrity.
The question is, are humans destined for what I seek to achieve?
I question myself with this every day, because the tightrope I walk is a very difficult and mind boggling one. I rarely feel at ease and suffer criticism at the hands of others quite often. I do not cope with this by changing myself to be more defensive, because that would be an error in my personality, for one should not build defenses, but simply be confident in all facets of life.
And in love... the ever-confusing relationship, investment of emotions... Something I cannot analyze within myself because it is something I cannot dissasociate myself from. Is it wrong to fantasize? To daydream? Such things bring me pleasure, a pleasure I so rarely get to experience. Yet in fantasy, perhaps I am feeding an insecurity... perhaps I am hiding from the harsh reality that is life. That would be imperfect, which would create a known flaw in me, which cannot be.
Yet, the very basis of what I seek to achieve should be happiness, for that is what I want, undeniably. I have not achieved this yet, nor have I come even close. Does this mean all I have done has been incorrect? Or does it mean the path is simply much longer than I anticipated?
Necessity.... is it a weakness or is it a natural human trait? Necessity of emotion, of love, of warmth.
It sounds human, yet it is filled with so many perils.
Is it better to indulge in human feasts or starve yourself so you never knew the suffering of running out of food? |
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| Created by Decius at
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