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| <<<>>> |
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Mare |
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| Created by Decius at
| [+ favourites]
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Don't look back. Don't look back ever again.
Drag the past into a corner, close it in with the rest of the chaos.
But the truth of the matter is that
My hidden skeletons and the past I have given myself.
Remains with me and will recieve pile upon pile of dirt with me in the end.
To the grave it will remain, like my shadow, reminding the essence of life
That I have come to love, that I have done wrong, of the darkness I bestowed.
Upon those I love, loved, and loved me. Be it my father, my mother,
My husband of wife. I feel I have done harm to the person I love the most.
Like an incurable disease, growing inside of me, I feel it penetrate my brain.
I see it every moment I close my eyes, and every moment of lost distraction
Causes me unacceptable pain.
There is no way to undo what i have done. The hollow look my love gave me
As she wept her tear, and held back a gallon.
It haunts me.
I caught her precious jewels fill with the liquid that is pain. And inside me,
It will remain. She stared at me, as hollow as a chewed up core, a thin broken
Shell. Her eyes are all that remains of her to me. Launching at me, an arsenal
Of memories, of feelings, of utter, hollow, pain. Betrayal.
Alone.
And although the thoughts remain foggy and unclear, what is clear to me is the
Drought of soul within my chest.
Every aspect of life that is depressive is lead by the utter loss of hope.
Hope. The most beautiful, life giving oasis of smiles. The light. The joy.
Why children always smile. Why children are brought into this world.
Why parents love their children. Why we meet people. Why we talk. Why we breathe. The overflowing plentiful glimmer of hazy happyness that exists in every one of us.
As the smile slowly fades off my cheek to cheek, as I slowly drift back into a
Subconscious attack of needles.
I am drugged into a state of weakness and sorrow. I know not why, for things I did
As a child, remain hidden below the wrongs I did last week.
And I do not know how to reach them. I do not know if they exist.
All I know, and this is why I sit here doing what I do.
In the dark.
The dripping tap reminding me I am not yet in Hell.
The air flowing, reminding me that I am still me.
My eyes unable to distract me.
All I can do in the silence of this bitter night.
Is realize the one utter truth.
It is in the past, as is time.
It can not be touched or changed no matter, no matter, no matter.
What I want.
It will remain with me, in me, in my blood, coursing through my veins.
Entering my brain, and as I see a new flower, the possibilities are endless.
Then I shall see the terrifying look of my lost love, her watered eyes, in my flower.
And the petals drip the liquid, which sizzles unto my skin, like an acidic prick.
And I turn away, causing yet another tear filled haunting, to haunt me till the day I perish.
How badly I yearn to end the game and begin again, knowing what I know now. |
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| Created by Decius at
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