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| <<<>>> |
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The Miracle of the Alchemist |
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| Created by Decius at
| [+ favourites]
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1.
quote:
"Why do we have to listen to our hearts?" the boy asked.
"Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you will find your treasure."
Long ago, when I decided to become a man, I sought to wield the energies within me for their scattered and un-focused explosions were causing disastrous results in my life. I realized that doubt was the pinnacle obstruction that deflated my energies in wrong ways. These doubts channeled my power through resentment, anger and frustration. Knowing that I had such immense strength in me that I could somehow not use amplified the frustration I felt, resulting in depression.
And so one day, when faced with assaults on my being, I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that the negativity that was beginning to encompass within me was an alien force. I realized that I was inherently an idealistic person, and that these powers, if left uncontrolled, would eventuate in my emotional isolation from the rest of the world.
I was given a choice: To welcome my isolation for my inability to wield my powers, or to begin a learning process under which I would remove doubts from my beliefs and actions.
I chose the latter, and it all began with one moment.
After being overwhelmed, I knelt down and rested my tear encrusted face on a pillow. My feelings and thoughts were silent, and in that moment of silence, the elimination of doubt began…
It began, with one certainty.
It didn't matter what the certainty was. But I was certain about it. I was certain, because I thought about it, and all that surrounded it, and every which way it could be questioned and viewed. I examined the different situations it could be manipulated in, the different arguments that those for and against would bring, and knew at the end of my vigorous analysis, that it was indeed a truth to me.
It was a timeless certainty. And almost suddenly, I became calm. My emotions normalized and I opened my eyes, feeling totally at peace.
I felt all my force flow into that one coherent thought, and with the knowledge that it was certainly true, my entire being was, for the first time, completely focused.
For a moment, my heart was speaking to me, and I had no doubt that it was right.
quote:
"You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it's better to listen to what it has to say. That way, you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow."
Over time I adopted new certainties. Some more difficult to believe in than others. It was a difficult process because the world is made to create doubt, and those that doubt themselves want you to doubt yourself. I realized that the most beautiful things to believe in that seem to be more true are the exact things that are more difficult to believe in. I found that those around me found it easier to believe things that made them unhappy and selfish. But I had created a base with my one certainty. I had decided to listen to my heart for I felt the pure moment of unison with it, and sought to be permanently unified. Although I had not realized it immediately, the entire goal of my life became the systematic and intelligent elimination of doubt. I felt that this would inevitably lead me to the goals I was supposed to achieve. I felt that with certainty and open communication with that little voice in the back of my mind, God would support me in my endeavors.
The most difficult task, I found, was to distinguish between genuine feelings and those that resulted from doubts. You see, I began not only analyzing things that repulsed me, but also things that attracted me. It was in analyzing the desires in me that would lead to eventual unhappiness from a purely logical standpoint that provided the greatest insight into why those desires existed, and what negative emotions they created on the other end. By looking into the long term and avoiding the short term completely, I was given a unique view of my current behavior and quickly determined what short term desires I had that had absolutely no realistic long term benefits.
It was this mentality that began synchronizing my conscious desires and the desires of my heart, for it seemed that my heart had always taken a long term view even when I didn't want to. This was the reason why whenever I had rejected or miss-understood what my instincts and heart was telling me, whether I prospered in the short term, I always suffered in the long term.
quote:
"You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love."
The greatest difficulty, once I learned to communicate with my heart, was actually following its instructions. Specifically when it hurt those close to me. More specifically, when it hindered my short term desires. You see, my short term desires were far easier to accomplish. And at times, I gave into them. But I learned that desires that opposed what my heart wanted were never quenchable. This is why those that engage in short term desires that oppose their heart's goals tend to be dogmatic in their behavior.
2.
Yet, what exactly was the Miracle of the Alchemist?
A time after I decided to be a man and went through times of punishment and turmoil attempting to adjust my short term desires to coincide with my long term desires, I reached a point where I was more content with life than I was unhappy.
During this time, I began to feel more at one with the universe, and I became highly confident about the morality of my actions. I found that although I suffered unhappiness on occasion, I rarely got depressed. This wasn't to say that I had eliminated all doubt from my life, but I had come to terms with large pieces of who I was, and cleansed them of doubt. There still existed little shards within me that posed a threat once in a while, but my base was strong.
It was during this time that I began to see omens. It came on gradually, and wasn't something I fully grasped consciously. Even the term "omen" may not be entirely descriptive about these feelings… but it seemed that the more I listened to my heart, the more accurate my predictions of the future became. And strange coincidences began occurring in my life. I would sometimes take a longer route home because I so felt compelled to and in doing so achieved something or avoided something that I later found out about. I would befriend a certain person, or agree to a social activity that I normally wouldn't, simply because my heart compelled me to.
I did not believe in such things, for they had no logical basis. This is why although I began sub-consciously predicting things, I regarded them as coincidences.
It was as if I was climbing a hill, and as I reached the peak the clouds engulfed me and I could no longer see the path ahead of me. I remember that during this time I was quite open to invitations for I felt like I was looking for something… I felt like I had so many strings in my life that were strong and they all individually made sense, but I did not have a surround view of my life. I remember thinking "Well, where should I go from here?".
On one occasion, during the Christmas season, a girl that was a friend of a friend (whom I was slightly attracted to) received a gift from another friend. It was a book, and the title was "The Alchemist". This was a book amongst other books I had never heard of, amongst many other gifts far more romantic.
Yet, I noticed it. Simply the name seemed familiar to me. I remember that night quite clearly.
I asked if I could see it and picked it up. It was soft in my hands and the cover was abstract, but easy on the eyes. It was not attractive in any way, but it was still strangely familiar to me. I remember thinking that I had not read a book in over fifteen years. I remembered wondering if breaking that streak now would entice my friends to resume trying to get me to read various books of their recommendations.
Unlike the consistent behavior I follow in a bookstore, I did not read the back page of the book. I did not read the reviews and recommendations. But I did open the book, without the intention of reading the story. I jumped straight to the prologue… and I read it with such intensity that I remember the room sounds disappearing. I am certain no one in the room was aware that I existed as I did read it, for no one spoke to me or noticed me.
I loved the prologue… but love is not the right word. It was "right". And I closed the book and rubbed the front page, then gave it back. I remember thinking that I would like to read it, but dismissed it.
In the next three weeks, the thought of the Alchemist popped into my mind only when I was silent or in transition somewhere. I felt that I should read it. What I had experienced at the Christmas event somehow compelled me to read it. And so I instructed a friend to buy it. She did, read it, and then gave it to me.
The Miracle of the Alchemist is this: That after years of sorting my mind out, trying to follow what I considered my sub-conscious desires (which were far more intelligent than my conscious ones) I was compelled to read a book (the first book in 15 years) for no worldly reason other than a voice inside my own mind and body. And the book, like God whispering a lullaby to me, was a story about a boy who learns to communicate with his heart, eventually following omens based on feelings that lead him to the goal that was meant for him.
It was as if some unspoken force was meant to redeem my actions and provide me with a miracle as a gift for my endeavors. Over the years I had grown very certain about morality and spirituality, and this book that I was lead to by pure instinct, that harshly dictated the ways a person should lead their life, completely, even to this day, coincides with everything I had ever come to believe independent of any influences. It was as if the second part of my life was meant to begin after this, for I now had in print all the moral bases I had created for myself, written by someone I had never met or heard of.
The true miracle was not the Alchemist itself. The miracle, and gift, was this premise that created an undeniable certainty within me. Something that no matter what anybody said or argued, could logically only exist as a certainty in one way. The certainty created then was that once the heart can be heard, it will exceed the skills of logic. It was that my heart knew things I could never consciously know… and that it had proven that it was indeed connected with the universe… for it knew that a book entitled "The Alchemist" that I had never heard of or seen before, would become my companion.
It created a faith within me. The faith was that I could now begin to trust my emotions more than my mind, for my emotions were now in tune with the universe, and my place in it. |
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| Created by Decius at
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