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<<< >>> |
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To be at peace with myself |
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| Created by Decius at
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Escaping neurotic behaviour. Something out of your control happens, and you planned it perfectly, and there's no godly reason why that person's stupidity should interfere with your success. It is unfair, unjust, and should not happen. But it does, and I sit here trying to figure out a way not to think about it constantly, endlessly, analyzing every crevice nook and cranny trying to gain an understanding of the situation, what mistakes I may have made, and most importantly, what to do tomorrow when I have the opportunity to blame that person for their idiocy and not lose anything as a result. But I worry because they will very possibly not admit their fault, and i will not be compensated for my loss. Hence, I have lost, it is their stupidity, it is my life, and I have lost because of them and there is nothing I can do about it. It is not fair. Such things defy the purpose of thought and intelligence. Optimal existance. Along with neurotic behaviour for what goes wrong comes the overanalysis of what you want to be perfect. Exploring your desires, what is right, what is wrong, blowing them out of proportion and being nervous at how you will express those desires to those close to you, worrying whether or not such desires will hurt or distance themselves from you, thereby making you feel guilty. I want to optimize our freedoms so that we are bonded together so strongly that we can explore freedoms without hassle. It is those that do not suffer these steps that remain permanently stagnant in their lives, resentful, for they see the grass on the other side and are never in a position to ascertain that it is in fact not greener. Honesty in those endeavors is important, and it tires me to make sure that I am always honest with my desires. It tires me to take these steps into perfection, but you would make it easier on me by trying to empathize with my good intentions rather than pinning the bad ones on me. because if I love you, then that is what you should know. |
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| Created by Decius at
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